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Top 9 Things We’d Like To See Celebrities Do To Show Support For A Particular Cause
Hollywood icon Harrison Ford is currently appearing in an Internet video having his chest waxed. Ford, the star of such blockbuster franchises as Star Wars and Indiana Jones, decided to undergo the painful procedure as a way of demonstrating the pain that the Earth feels when deforestation occurs.
Too often celebrities are chastised by conservative pundits, radio hosts (see Laura Ingraham’s “Shut Up And Sing!“), or bloggers for not “putting their money where their mouth is.” We at TNOYF applaud Mr. Ford for taking a stand, and hope that other stars will follow suit.
Following are other noteworthy causes with our suggestions for celebrity activism.
9. Staple individual slices of Kraft cheese to a handcuffed Sean Penn and then unleash 1,000 Norway Rats to commemorate the spread of the bubonic plague in the late 1300s.
8. Cut out Barbara Streisand’s tongue to symbolize her unity with oppressed women in the Middle East.
7. Burn Oliver Stone’s books, impound his homes and vehicles, confiscate his money, and throw him in jail with no legal representation to show his unity with the plight of the much-maligned former Cuban leader Fidel Castro.
6. Program robots to perform painful anal probes on Nancy Pelosi to draw attention to discriminatory practices against illegal aliens.
5. Have Michael Moore’s core temperature raised to 147 degrees to symbolize the dramatic impact that global warming has had on the planet.
4. Perform a lobotomy on Reverend Jeremiah Wright to once and for all end the question over neurological differences between blacks and whites.
3. Cover Geraldo Rivera in brightly-colored papier-mache` and hang him from a tree near a group of stick-wielding juvenile delinquents to show support for the plight of undocumented immigrants.
2. Have the cast of The View hold a “Be A Baby Fur Seal For A Day” telethon during which they take turns clubbing each other to show support for the lovable aquatic mammals.
1. Feed Danny Glover to grey wolves to celebrate the carnivore’s return to prominence in the western United States due to the tireless efforts of animal rights activists.
- NAACP-PETA Motorcycle-a-thon Of Unity Kicks Off
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- International Star Registry Now to Offer Naming of Rocks, Trees and Shrubs
- Top 9 Things That Cheese Bono Off
- Cruise Crosses The Line, Sends Infant Daughter Into Space
Tags: , anal probes, aquatic mammals, barbara streisand, bubonic plague, conservative humor, conservative pundits, cuban leader fidel, cuban leader fidel castro, Democrat versus Republican, fidel castro, fur seal, geraldo rivera, hollywood icon, illegal aliens, illegal immigrants, jeremiah wright, juvenile delinquents, kraft cheese, laura ingraham, nancy pelosi, norway rats, noteworthy causes, political humor, program robots, Satire, undocumented immigrants, women in the middle east
I heartily endorse these proposed celebrity endorsements.
Frozen Tex, I have to say we have been overwhelmed by the number of responses we have received that echo your sentiment. We figured maybe a 50-50 split, 60-40 at best, but it’s damn near 100% for. It’s great to see we have so many progressive readers!
You are funny guys! I laugh every time I surf by here via BlogExplosion…still would like to see you strut your stuff on BlogExplosion’s Battle of the Blogs!
Have a hilarious evening…
I’m with you guys on these. But why stop with Barbara’s tongue? There are other things you could cut that would still show her support in that area–I say–do it all. Then set her on fire.
I dunno. The pain the earth feels? I think Mr. Ford just wanted to “feel” like a kid again.
Can a lobotomy be done while the patient is awake?
Under local anesthesia? Maybe not quite sterile conditions?
Send Keith Ubermann on a date with Rosie O’Donut to demonstrate his support for women candidates’ right to shut up and drop out when told to do so by their betters.
And also, send Al Gore to live in a mudhole in Bangladesh while a thousand Bengalis live in his mansion and use far less energy than he does.
And finally, have Senator Alabama blow himself to bits to demontrate solidarity with the Greenwich Village Three.
You are sick fux and My Love for you knows no bounds.
Dinah, we love you and your creatively-spelled curses right back!
“6. Program robots to perform painful anal probes on Nancy Pelosi to draw attention to discriminatory practices against illegal aliens.”
And, have fellow Democrat Dennis Kucinich supervise the probe to ensure life in an Asstro-Intergalactic Brown Hole is well educated.
Can a lobotomy be done while the patient is awake?
Under local anesthesia? Maybe not quite sterile conditions?
I Wright’s case, it will require an electron microscope to locate so small a target. And if Harrison is for real, they can do a sequel of Andrew Sullivan pulling out Ford’s pubic hairs… with his teeth.
wORK AT SOUP KITCHEN TO FEED THE HOMELESS AND HELP HABITAT FOR HUMANITY