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Top 9 Things Space Shuttle Astronaut Lisa Marie Nowak Learned From Her Lust-Fueled Murder/Adventure
For those of you who are unfamiliar with her work, Nowak’s accomplishments include: attaining the rank of Air Force Captain; logging more than 1500 hours as a test pilot on over 30 aircraft, and completing a twelve-day mission to the International Space Station in the summer of 2006.
More recently, the married mother of three finished up a 1,000 mile cross-country trip at the end of which she planned to kill fellow astronaut Captain Colleen Shipman. Shipman drew Nowak’s ire when she began an affair with a third astronaut, Bill Oefelein, who Nowak had been clandestinely dating.
Top 9 Things Space Shuttle Astronaut Lisa Marie Nowak Learned From Her Lust-Fueled Murder/Adventure
9. Should have spent the extra $2 and bought Depends.
8. Guys love jealousy in a woman; to a point.
7. Shouldn’t jump to conclusions. When Bill was overheard saying he was going to “go get some Tang off of Colleen”, maybe it meant that they both really just enjoy orange flavored beverages.
6. Although pepper spray seems like a great way to greet someone at the airport, flowers or balloons probably would have been better options.
5. The experts were right; wearing a trench coat, wig, latex gloves and a knife after Labor Day is a major fashion faux pas.
4. Apparently just having a really good tan isn’t enough to get Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton to come to your defense; you have to actually be black.
3. If this didn’t convince Bill of her love for him, then the Valentine’s Day dinner of boiled rabbit, rohypnol, and her own excrement she had planned will probably be just a waste of time too.
2. Really have to stop listening to everything strange dogs tell her to do.
1. In hindsight, the “Scott Peterson Relationship Tips Hotline” was probably a poor place to turn for dating advice.
- NASA: Objects Floating In Space Apparently from Space Shuttle Toilet
- Transcript of Love Letter Found In Car of Diaper-Clad Astronaut Lisa Nowak
- Retro-Nose: Lisa Marie Nowak’s Fondest Valentine’s Day Memory
- Retro-nose: Lisa Marie Nowak’s Fondest Valentine’s Day Memory
- Lisa Marie Nowak’s Fondest Valentine’s Day Memory
Actually, I think that Nowak is a NAVY Captain - quite different from an Air Force Captain.
And Number 10:
She really does look better in orange.
7. Shouldn’t jump to conclusions. When Bill was overheard saying he was going to “go get some Tang off of Colleen”, maybe it meant that they both really just enjoy orange flavored beverages.
LOL
Actually - all of them are funny! lol
Poor gal - bad press for ladies with The Right Stuff.
And to paraphrase Sean Connery from the Untouchables, her career is as dead as Julius Caesar.