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Top 9 Reasons Muqtada Al Sadr Called Off His Protest March In Baghdad
9. Couldn’t find his white head scarf, and wasn’t about to commit fashion suicide by wearing black after Eid ul-Adha.
8. It was all a big misunderstanding. People thought he called for a “massive demonstration of force, using extreme violence if necessary, to protest the continuing American occupation force in Iraq.” What he really said was that he wanted to “get a few guys together at his place to hold a candlelight vigil for Brittney and pray that she has a successful stint in rehab.”
7. The lead actor became ill, so he had to fulfill his obligations as understudy for the role of Bluto in “Animal House: The Musical.”
6. Realized that it was “dimey’s” night at “Muhammad’s Not Here” tavern.
5. Had a severe flare-up of the gout after a practical joker replaced the coffee he normally drinks with goat urine.
4. Scheduling kerfuffle. Realized too late that he was set to speak at The Daily Kos’ “Let’s Show Our Support For The U.S. Troops” rally.
3. Didn’t know that Al Sharpton was planning on smearing a black, quadriplegic leper with feces that same day, and wasn’t about to compete for media coverage with that.
2. That New York Times editorial gig finally came through.
1. Timing of the march coincided with the E! True Hollywood Story on David Hasselhoff.
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Tags: , conservative, funny, humor, iraq, Islamofascism. War in Iraq, Mahdi militia, Middle East, Muqtada al-Sadr, parody, Satire
How about “Islamic Rage Boy cancelled his appearance at the march?”
Number 9 will never happen, the black turban shows that he has lineage from Muhammed (shame be upon the rapist, murdering land pirate).
I agree, without Islamic Rage Boy the parade would have been useless.
I concur. You need to have a certain amount of star power, or a ready supply of American flags to be burned, to really pull off a solid protest.
I thought he cancelled because he needs to see a dentist and an orthodontist.