Top 9 Reasons Liberals Dislike Christmas

9. It involves the ritualistic slaughter of millions of trees.

8. It takes attention away from important causes like pedophiles who unjustly receive harsh prison sentences and Guantanamo Bay prisoners who are not receiving culturally sensitive meals.

7. They think Jesus was a cult leader and that eggnog is just a creamier version of Kool Aid.

6. They think the only stars that should be followed are Sean Penn, Cindy Sheehan and Danny Glover.

5. Although he looked like a hippie, Jesus was just a poseur who never even tried pot. 

4. You cannot file a lawsuit on a federal holiday.

3. Celebrates the birth of the original, non-aborted baby.

2. It overshadows real holidays like Che Guevara’s birthday and NAMBLA Eve.

1. Love the idea of sex and no baby, not so keen on having a baby with no sex.

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This entry was posted on Monday, December 25th, 2006 at 2:02 pm and is filed under Conservative satire, Political correctness, Religion, Top 9 Lists. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

Comments

2 Responses to “Top 9 Reasons Liberals Dislike Christmas”

  1. Peace Moonbeam on December 26th, 2006 10:29 am

    Funny funny! I especially like reason #1.

    Merry Christmas, gentlemen.

  2. spurwing plover on December 26th, 2006 9:18 pm

    1. Becase more americans would rather celebrate christmas then CINO DEMAYO and KWAANZA 2. More people want TURKEY,HAM then some vegatarian puke paste 3.More parents buy war toys for the little boys then some dumb hippy peace-nik game 4.Americans give to the SALVATION ARMY then to CODEPINK 5.JESUS WAS A CONSERVATIVE WHO CARED FOR PEOPLE RATHER THEN TREES 6.THE 3 KINGS DID,NT PAY TAXES ON THEIR GIFTS 7.SANTA TAKES HIS REINDEER OUT AROUND THE WORLD ON COLD WINTER NIGHTS 8.CHRIST WAS BORN FROMA GOOD WOMAN 9.THERE WERRE ANIMALS IN THE MANGER AND NO CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES AROUND





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