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Top 9 Other Saddam Prison Complaints
Former Iraqi President Saddam Hussein complained to the judge during the second session of his trial on Monday that he had to walk up four flights of stairs because of a broken elevator in the courthouse.
We here at TNOYF know how frustrating that can be. We are also worried that Mr. Hussein is not getting a fair chance to have his cares heard. With that in mind, our Senior Middle Eastern Correspondent was able to acquire a list of Mr. Hussein’s concerns. Hopefully this will shed a little light on the other horrors that are being perpetrated behind closed doors.
9. (tie) I didn’t make the prison soccer team because of “political reasons.”
9. (tie) This prison doesn’t have a cool nickname like “Gitmo” or “The Rock.”
8. (tie) I haven’t received a care package from Kofi in months.
7. I’m not allowed to put up pictures from my Playboy: Girl’s of Mesopotamia issue.
6. (tie) Sean Penn keeps coming by with his personal photographer.
6. (tie) The voting machines in here are rigged. No matter how many times they recounted the ballots, they kept insisting that I only received 1 vote for “President of The Prison”, not the 99% that I normally get when running.
5. No matter how much I insist on being addressed as “President Hussein” or “The True Iraqi President”, those smart-aleck American guards keep calling me things like “Captain Ass-Master” and “Your Royal Camelphile.”
4. (tie) They won’t give me a night light.
4. (tie) All of a sudden George Galloway won’t take my collect calls.
3. That Ramsey Clark is a bit too anti-American for my tastes.
2. The rape rooms in this prison are way different, and far less enjoyable, than the ones I used to run.
1. I haven’t heard from those two ingrate sons of mine in years.
Thanks for the links from our good friends at:
- Retro-Nose: Top 9 Other Saddam Prison Complaints
- Top 9 Signs That Saddam Hussein Is About To Be Executed
- New Audio Translation Of Saddam Hussein’s Final Minutes
- Hussein Blasts ‘DaVinci Code’ Bigwigs Over Stereotype
- “Cranial Pork Chop Torture” Tops List Of Saddam Allegations
#2 had me rolling!
The most shity oneyou bastard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He mistreats his people he invades another country he sets fire to their oldfields he tourtures people he run runs away he get cuaght hiding in a rathole he gets imprisoned then he whines about inconviyences like walking up stairs i wonder is his reptile lawyers RAMSEY CLARK will bring this up during his trial?
Rumor has it they also ended his “all you can eat” dorito’s binges too. Poor bastard
My Name Jose Jimenez!
Uh, … I mean Saddam Hussein. Pardon me if I laugh while he complains. ; ) Now, Bill Dana - that was a funny guy.
#1 and #2 are hilarious, good job.
We’ll see if we can get his Dorito privileges reinstated CP.
Thanks for the feedback Greta and Rodney.
Don’t count on it Spurwing.
Hitler- not only are you dead, your spelling is atrocious.
Crazy List of Blogs to Read tonight
Here’s a list of a few of the posts I found the last few days that you might like to take a look at.
Did you ever hear what happened when Saddam’s son’s got to paradise?
Qusay pulled the vail off one and said, “Oy Vey! this one looks like Janet Reno!” He found later she was actually the ‘pick of the litter’! Uday found the same with his.
The explaination is, as they BOTH arrived at the same time, Mohammed sent over a work order for 2 sets of 72 virgins.
Problem is, he wrote, “–send over a “gross” of virgins!” You can figure the rest.
Hey, there is usually a good reason they are still virgins. This will probably be the fate of Namcy Pig-loser!
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