A convoy of 75 Humvees containing National Guard troops recently descended on New Orleans ostensibly at the request of Mayor Ray Nagin for the stated purpose of assisting law enforcement officials with managing crime in that hurricane-ravaged city.

Upon closer examination, however, it appears that there may in fact be other possible explanations for the troop deployment.

Following are the most likely scenarios that our intelligence sources were able to come up with:

9. There have been reports of a Kennedy family father-son road trip moving through the city.

8. A hoax e-mail was sent to National Guard leaders telling them that the “path to citizenship for illegal aliens” went through New Orleans and that it must be blocked “at all costs.”

7. Sent in as “crowd control” for the New Kids On The Block-Menudo Kickin’ It Old School reunion tour.

6. Sent as part of President Bush’s larger “War On Chocolate.”

5. They were called in to handle the “Happy Morning” people.

4. They heard that Aqua-man was still swimming around the French Quarter and wanted to get his autograph.

3. Reports indicated that United States fans are finally about to “get” soccer and they are going to be quite upset at the American team’s recent performance in the World Cup. 

2. Sent by Congressman William Jefferson to “get the rest of my cash…cha-ching!”

1. Cynthia McKinney is going to be attending a PBA dinner and law enforcement has called for back-up. 

Technorati tags: New Orleans, National Guard, Bush, humor, satire, conservative

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