Top 9 Al Sharpton Excuses For Running From Police

The Reverend Al Sharpton had a run-in with the law the other day as he left Cindy Sheehan’s ranchside vigil at President Bush’s Crawford, Texas home. Mr. Sharpton’s car reportedly reached speeds of over 100 mph during the chase.

We here at TNOYF feel that there must have been a good reason for this to have occured and so we present:

Top 9 Al Sharpton Excuses For Running From Police

9. Thought they were going to “mess with my waves.”

8. Heard that there was a news camera ahead that was not being used.

7. Should “hate the game, not the playa’.”   

6. Someone passed him a note saying that his 40 acres and a mule were right down the road.

5. TiVo’ed last episode of Six Feet Under and couldn’t wait to get home and watch it.

4. Had to make it home before the sun came up or he would melt.

3. He was trying to “get away from that Sheehan broad” who is “so crazy that I think I caught bi-polar disorder from drinking out of her cup.”

2. The car was a loaner from Jane Fonda and rather than putting vegetable oil in the tank he accidentally used Italian olive oil which subsequently tried to frame him.   

1. Didn’t want to have pretend feces and made-up racial slurs all over his body.

Thanks to Mudville, Basil.

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, August 30th, 2005 at 4:02 pm and is filed under Conservative satire, Fake News, Satire, Top 9 Lists. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

Comments

One Response to “Top 9 Al Sharpton Excuses For Running From Police”

  1. Citizen Grim on September 1st, 2005 12:28 am

    hahaha… silly Sharpton is always good for a laugh





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