The news that an asteroid will pass close to Earth in 2036 prompted a group of scientists to recommend Saturday that the United Nations arrange an international space mission to deflect the threatening space rock.

France, however, immediately issued a statement urging restraint against “a seemingly lovely space rock we know nothing about,” and claimed that the United States was behind the call to take aggressive action.

“Once again, the United States is rattling sabers when diplomacy hasn’t had a chance to work,” said French spokesman Serge Betain.  “We must use the United Nations to convince the world that what appears to be a gargantuan existence-threatening boulder hurtling through space may actually be a peaceful mission from a far away planet.”

The French offered an alternative plan that calls for efforts to communicate with the asteroid via 24 hour broadcasting of a radio signal into space.   Against a back drop of Enya music, French actor Gerard Depardieu will apologize to the asteroid that the Earth is in its path and ask what the two celestial bodies can do together to avoid a catastrophe. 

Betain went on to slam the world for what he called “blatant Earth-centric thinking.”

“When you think about it, exactly who is in whose path?  Have we considered the point of view of the asteroid? Perhaps, as we speak, they are scurrying around planning to divert us.  How does that feel?”      

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