Subscribe
Belgium Selected To Face American Wrath In Wake Of France’s Newly Elected ‘Pro-U.S’. President
Long resigned to their role as the “Garfunkel” of the international punchline community, Belgium has seen their stock rise sharply on the news of the recent French presidential election. Nicolas Sarkozy’s vocal pro-American stance, along with his large margin of victory, may shift the balance of French-bashing away from the traditional favorites; the French.
“I have to be honest with you, I’m not all that familiar with the Belgians,” said Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania resi
dent James Dyer. “But I better get up to speed quickly; they certainly aren’t going to just mock themselves. This election is a wake-up call for many of us in the France-mocking community, and we ignore the will of the people at our own peril.”
Dyer went on to say that although he does not know a great deal about Belgians, he does have some generic taunts “that can be utilized until more specific ones can be crafted.”
Experts say that more than anything, this election was a referendum on the cliched French taunting that has become prevalent in recent years.
“The French have given us so much material for so long, that it became almost too easy to mock them,” said veteran Francophobe Jack O’Malley. “Surrender, crepes, effeminate males, the f***ing beret? Comedy gold. I think that many people, myself included, have become complacent, lazy. On another note, let me be the first to welcome the gay, John Ritter-adoring, waffle-vendors of Belgium into their new role. You’ll be hearing from us.”
- O’Reilly Takes France
- London 2012, Lance Armstrong & More: An Open Letter To France
- French Complete First Face Transplant; Spine Next?
- Taunts Of ‘Ham-On-Rye-Bee” May Have Led To French Riots
- German Chancellor’s Joke Prompts French Surrender
[…] France may not be using it anymore. […]
[…] However, thanks to the brilliant Buckley F. Williams, I can now focus my irreverent loathing to the northeast on Europe’s map. I now can use the phrase “Waffle Eating Surrender Monkeys.” […]
[…] However, thanks to the brilliant Buckley F. Williams, I can now focus my irreverent loathing to the northeast on Europe’s map. I now can use the phrase “Waffle Eating Surrender Monkeys.” […]
Well, they did surrender to the global warming as caused by Man crowd a few weeks ago when they hosted a UN conference.
This could be a sad change for the French military. With this new President, they may all be forced to turn in their standard issue white flags.
The law of unforeseen consequences strikes again Jarhead.
In France, the Belgians are the butt of ethnic jokes. Here’s one that translates OK (to be told with a Francophone Belgian accent of course):
Q: Why do Belgian submarines come up to the surface every 20mns? A: So that the rowers can breathe!