9. “Okay. Two tickets to Les Mis for the person that comes up with the most creative way to tie this to the Bush administration. We’re talking front row loge seats here people, let’s move!”

8. “Hey, I’ve got an idea for a headline! How about, ‘Obama’s Pastor Falls Victim To Vast Wright Wing Conspiracy‘. See what I did there? I spelled Wright with a ‘w’ instead of an ‘r’.”

7. “Alright people. Let’s ask ourselves, ‘What would Jayson Blair do?’”

6. “I haven’t checked the wire in about ten minutes. Is Obama defending, condemning, or offering Wright a cabinet position now?”

5. “I think what would really finish this piece nicely is a Kanye West quote.”

4. “How’s this for an opening on the Wright piece? ‘April is on track to become the bloodiest month in Iraq for U.S. troops since they began their illegal occupation’?”

3. “‘April is on track to become the bloodiest month in Iraq for U.S. troops since they began their illegal occupation.’ Damn fine intro. It captures the essence of the Obama-Wright falling out very succinctly. Does anyone else smell a Pulitzer?”

2. “A guy that my husband works with told him that he heard it from a cousin that a woman that she knows has a friend who read on a blog that John McCain once had a tryst with Cher.”

1. “Which word do you think captures our utter lack of surprise at Wright’s multiple and well-documented inflammatory, racist, anti-American statements more: shocked, stunned, or flabbergasted?”