Subscribe
Scientists Discover Ron Jeremy/Bird Flu Connection
Scientists from the Center for Disease Control are announcing that they have pinpointed the genesis of the dreaded Avian Flu’s initial transmission to humans, a discovery that may well lead to a future cure.
The revelation occurred when Dr. Martin Samuels, a leading bird flu researcher, was enjoying an adult film starring legendary porn actor Ron Jeremy.
“I had a tough day at the office and wanted to relax a little,” said Samuels. “And I’ve always been a big fan of Mr. Jeremy’s work. But as soon as the movie began, I had a sneaking suspicion that it had some sort of connection to the pandemic.”
The film, To Drill A Mockingbird, featured Jeremy in a host of compromising situations with various members of the bird family; behavior that Samuels says could have caused the disease to be transmitted to humans.
“I don’t know why it never occurred to me,” he continued. “But it was right there as plain as day. When that gorgeous red-breasted sparrow started giving beak to Jeremy in the back room of the petshop he was patronizing, I had the distinct notion that something was not quite right.”
North American Man-Bird Love Association President James “Tweety” Dillenbeck, has a different view on the situation.
“First of all, there is nothing more beautiful or more natural than the love between a man and his finely-feathered companion,” said Dillenbeck. “When people such as Dr. Samuels make these statements, it only serves to perpetuate avianist stereotypes.”
NAMBLA has been criticized by many as a fringe organization for their unapologetically pro-man-bird relations stance. However, Dillenbeck remains resolute.
“We are the original NAMBLA,” he said. “Things were fine until those sickos who enjoy the company of young boys came around and co-opted our good name. I just want to go on the record as saying that at no time do we condone sex between men and hatchlings. Ever. This is a phenomenal betrayal of trust. As we like to say at NAMBLA, ‘if there aren’t feathers on the field, you can’t play ball’.”
- FEMA Official Who Staged Fake News Conference Told His New Job Is Fake, Too
- Robert Byrd To Help Hamas “Get Whites Their Whitest”
- Third Rate Political Satire Returns Tomorrow
- Avian Bird Flu Taking the Sport out of Bird Watching
- Potfry Leftovers….
Are you trying to blind me here?
“Are you trying to blind me here?”
Are you suggesting that the parrot is a touch to bright? We have been getting that complaint. I can try to tone it down a little, that should ease the strain on your eyes.
Had to Adblock the image. It’s fairly NSFW. Granted if it was a redacted-over hot chick, I’d be less scrutinizing.
Alas, it is a ugly naked dude and it CANNOT STAND!!
Typically I’m great at leaving smart-ass comments on people’s sites; but here? Y’all normally leave me with my jaw hanging and unable to respond. You don’t think I have to worry about a finch flying into my mouth; do you? Any bird that’s been with Jeremy is just nasty.
No,the parrot’s fine, I think it’s the ostrich shoved up that sasquatch’s ass that’s causing me some optic problems….ewwwww.
Seriously, where have you guys been all my life? It is so hard to find a warped point of view anymore in our boring pc world….so I’m gonna give you the - clapclapclapclapclap - Big Standing O!!!!
Take a well deserved bow
Thanks, Lantana. We’re self-taught on photo-shop, and quite proud of the progress we’ve made. Although, I must say that in college, I never imagined I’d be taking a skin graft from Ron Jeremy’s thigh to ensure that the ostrich in his rectum looked more life-like.
“I must say that in college, I never imagined I’d be taking a skin graft from Ron Jeremy’s thigh to ensure that the ostrich in his rectum looked more life-like.”
That’s because you went to one of those stuffy, elitist conservative schools.
Bird flu whens it support to get here after all those idiots from PETA were running around at KFC restruants in silly chicken costumes and acting like the typical jerks they are. aaannnddd iiii hhhaavvveee bbbiiirrrddd fffllluuu iiiimmmm gggrrrooowwwiiinnggg fffeeeaatthhheeerrrsss aaannddd wwwiiinngggsss aaannddd aaa bbbeeeaakk aaannnddd iiii wwwaaannnttt tttooo bbbuuuiiilllddd aaaa nnneesssttt SQUAWK SQUAWK
You go, Spurwing.
“No animals were harmed in production of the above image.”
-David Drake, Unofficial Attorney for Williams & Potfry
AFTER TOO MANY BIRDS HAVE BEEN KILLED BY THOSE WIND TURBINES FAVORED BY THE ECO-FREAKS WE BIRDS ARE GETTING OUR REVENGE ON THE TREE HUGGING ECO-WACKOS SQUAWK SQUAWK