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Retro-Nose: Zawahiri Gives Upbeat “State Of The Jihad” Address
Below is the full text of Al Qaeda number two man Ayman al Zawahiri’s recent State of the Jihad address:
“Good evening and thank you all for coming out tonight. No one knows better than I how treacherous the walkways leading to an Afghan cave can be on a snowy December evening. Well, perhaps Ahmed knows. Allah praise his soul.
Anyhow, just a few housekeeping items before I begin. If you need to use the little Jihadi’s room, go out the front of the cave and to the steep mountain slope on the left. Please don’t forget the rule: if it’s yellow let it mellow, if it’s brown kick it down. Also, there are refreshments in the back underneath the torch. Osama made his famous Jews-in-a-blanket, be sure to try one if you haven’t already.
As you all know, we have many jihads going on at this time. So many jihads that it has become most difficult to keep track of them all. Time will not allow a full report on every one, however, I will give you a brief update on each followed by a question and answer session.
Afghanistan. We have achieved total victory. The Americans have been expelled and the country is once again ours.
Iraq. Our brave holy warriors are thrusting their heads behind infidel bullets faster than their vile factories can manufacture them. Our intelligence shows that their supplies of ammunition will be exhausted long before we run out of jihadists. Furthermore, we have the full support of our Iraqi brethren. Here too the outcome is not in doubt.
France. I hate to bore you with statistics, but just bear with me for a moment. Number of cars in France in December 2004- 37 million. Number of cars today- 14 million. Powerful stuff. You are making a difference.
New Orleans. Our ‘Religion of Peace Hurricane-o-matic’ machine laid waste to this morally bankrupt city gloriously killing scores of infidels.
Spain. What else needs to be said about Spain? They are the France of the new millennium.
That about covers it. We have some time for questions if anyone has any. Yes, you by the extra long stalactite.”
Audience member: “Thank you sir. I do not mean any disrespect, but you say that we have achieved total victory and that the Americans have been expelled from Afghanistan. However, in order to avoid the American soldiers on the way here tonight I was forced to dress as a mountain goat and climb… hey let go of me! Where are you taking me?!?”
Zawahiri: “Any other questions? Anyone? No? Then thank you all once again, and watch your step on the way out.”
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If it’s brown kick it down,where in your fertile mind do you come up with this.lol
Now that is one classy post!