What started off as a laid back yet sensible peace rally took a violent turn earlier this afternoon in Washington, D.C. as anti-war activist Cindy Sheehan was arrested.

“Things were going great until the brown shirts showed up,” said 43 year old protester Thyme Panda. “We were just minding our own business holding up some signs. No biggie. We even chipped in and painted a few run down areas of town. Did they thank us? Hell no. Those fascists knocked us down, took the brownies my mom made me this morning and went after Cindy. Big mistake bro!”

The “big mistake” which was alluded to above, occurred when D.C. police attempted to arrest Sheehan for protesting without a permit. This is where the two sides’ stories take divergent paths.

A spokesman for the police department says that as the officers were taking Sheehan into custody using approved arrest techniques, her vagina sprung into action, severing the right hand of Sgt. David Smithers.

The peace protesters maintain that Sheehan’s vagina was provoked by the police beforehand and that many of the officers had taken to calling it “lonely girl”. 

Experts tell us the fact that local officials and protesters offer very different accounts of this event is inevitable due to the confusion that always surrounds “the stench of protest.”

Update: Smithers remains in critical care at University Hospital.

Update 2: Sheehan’s vagina has been arrested and charged with three counts of aggravated assault.

Related posts 

1. Retro-Nose: Sheehan’s Rogue Vagina Eats Officer’s Hand During Arrest
2. Sheehan’s Rogue Vagina Eats Officer’s Hand
3. Peace Mom To Be Put Down?
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5. Cindy Sheehan’s Prose