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Retro-Nose: Viewer Sues After Surprise Appearance of John Madden At “Critical Moment” of Porn Video
In a surprising twist on the news that some children were discovering porn images on the new John Madden 2007 X-Box Football Game, a Las Vegas man has claimed that he discovered an image of John Madden at a “critical juncture” in “Sex-Starved Amateurs #46.”
The man, who has asked to remain anonymous, is suing the movie production company, the NFL and John Madden for emotional damages, the cost to surgically repair his bent penis, and the cost of carpet cleaning. He issued a statement:
“I don’t get out much, and I’m not much of a football fan, so I had never heard of John Madden. Well, now I have. John Madden inserted himself in my life at a very private moment, and I’m pretty sure that the sight of that big doughy face yelling, ‘KAPOW!’ has changed me forever.”
- Viewer Sues After Surprise Appearance of John Madden At “Critical Moment” of Porn Video
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He has also been showing up in “Busty Teens 10″, “Harry Spotter and the Order of the Penis” and “Grandmas and Grandpas 14″–err…so I’ve heard.
More disturbingly, he has been making appearances in some highly suspect NAMBLA productions such as “Touched By An Uncle” and “Trenchcoat-Clad, Candy Vendors IV: The Wrath of Mr. Butterfinger.”
I think it was when he started drawing X’s and O’s and lines between them to the bumpuglies for proper positioning that sickened me. I can no longer watch a Tinactin commercial without experiencing a burning sensation.
Not only that, but I hear he hates to fly and travels by bust from porn shoot to porn shoot.
I watched porn all last week and saw him in several.
“3:10 to Urethra”
Gray’s Aunt and Me”
Desperate HouseWhores”
“Deal or No Dildo” Starring Howie Long
PS…this was very funny, Buckley!!!
LK