An upstate New York man has put himself into the running for the Nobel Prize in Medicine for his inspiring work in the fight against anorexia. James “Jimmy Carbs” Bukovsky boasts a far different resume than past Nobel Prize winners and he is proud of that fact.

“I’m just a discount furniture salesman from Poughkeepsie,” stated Jimmy Carbs. “I don’t have no fancy degree in science. I ain’t never done work on lab rats.  But my mom and my mom’s boyfriend did raise me to have common sense and that’s what I used to beat anorexia.”    

The Nose On Your Face’s Senior Anti-Anorexia Correspondent was able to obtain a copy of Bukovsky’s miracle cure:

The Jimmy Carbs “Anorexic-No-More” Diet

• Breakfast- 6-pack of beer (any beer you choose, but avoid Michelob Ultra and the like), 1 dozen deep-fried pierogies (serve with sour cream and cheese fries), 1 loaf of bread
• Mid-morning snack- 2 pizzas and a ham
• Lunch- 12-pack of beer and 3 bags of potato chips (generic brands are acceptable)
• Afternoon snack- Bagels with lox (a baker’s dozen)
• Dinner- A family of migrant workers (season to taste)
• Bedtime snack- Sheet cake (just one)

In a related story Jimmy’s new cookbook entitled “You’re Looking a Little Anemic, How About Some Donuts?” is set to hit bookstores this weekend.

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