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Retro-Nose: All-time Best Fake Thanksgiving Quotes
We have compiled some lesser known, fake Thanksgiving quotes for your holiday reading enjoyment.
“Thanksgiving is just another exploitative white capitalistic pig holiday.” - Michael Moore at the release for his new anti-Thanksgiving movie, “Is That Smallpox In Your Blanket Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?’, and the accompanying line of action figures.
“All I know is my great grandparents slept in a tee-pee. I have the luxury suite at the Turning Stone Casino.” - Chief Counting Coin of the Oneida Indian Tribe in response to Katie Couric’s question about the treachery committed against his people by the white man after the first Thanksgiving.
“Before you go out and buy that Butterball for your Thanksgiving Day feast remember this: turkey meat causes AIDS.” - PETA spokesman Gabe Layd.
“I’m not sure what Mr. Layd and his friends are doing to their turkeys, and I don’t believe I want to know. However, I can assure you that the worst thing that has happened to me after eating turkey is that I became very gassy and fell asleep during a conversation with my aunt Eleanor.” - Butterball Turkey spokesman Nick Mitchelson in response to Layd’s comment.
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Festive…happy…holidayish
“You ever see people gathered around the table during thanksgiving; notice how they allways want to eat the white meat first? Same thing been happening for 400 years allways white first, dark second.”
Al Sharpton fake quote
“Man people will claim that it was me that brutal cut up the turkey, but I am completely innocent. The turkey cutting knife handle was to small to fit into my hand and as my lawyer has stated before:
“If the blade doesnt fit you must acquite” ”
O.J. Simpson fake quote
Micheal Moore is a turkey we all know that and as for PETA all i can say is that THE PILGRIMS sure were not vegatarians and too many veggies give you FETULENCE and HITLER WAS A VEGATARIAN and SO IS CHARLES MANSON so if you PETA jerks have avideo cassette of that dumb movie BABE,GODY and BABE II OIG IN THE CITY i suggest you SHOVE THEM UP YOUR YOU KNOW WHERE