As I watched Barry Bonds’ press conference today, I thought of the scene from the original Frankenstein movie when the monster first breaks free of his restraints. Raging madly, staggering about, Frankenstein flails desperately at the laboratory lights while everyone stares in horror.

Barry Bonds had his Frankenstein moment today. Confronted by those who created him, he held court defiantly. And, while actual words came from his mouth, it may as well have been the same incoherent, gutteral gibberish of Frankenstein.

That Bonds used steroids is not really a question, at least for most two-legged primates on planet Earth. So today’s press conference was a seminal moment of denial and embarassment for a man many feel is the best baseball player of all time. Sadly, Barry Bonds served notice that he will deny these charges forever, evidence be damned.

But there was a silver lining, a reason to wonder and hope. Hidden by the uncomfortable body language, tucked behind the caustic tone, there was a moment of clarity and honesty. Perhaps a plea for help. Maybe you missed it, but it was there.

“I don’t know what cheating is,” said Barry Bonds.

Stunningly, this could be true. Barry Bonds may be so irretrievably detached, so deeply deluded, so ravenously addicted to fame and obsessed with his place in history that he truly believes- no, KNOWS– that the rules are different for him. It’s quite possible that Barry Bonds has simply lost his objectivity, and his mind.

So we cover our eyes– but watch between splayed fingers, aghast and fascinated. Barry Bonds will give us what we want– a new homerun champion. Around water coolers and bar stools, we’ll talk about Babe Ruth and Hank Aaron. We’ll manage our schedule to make sure we’re able to watch TV the week he breaks the record. And when it’s over, after Bonds gives us our moment, we’ll go back to debating about asterixes and cheating. Barry Bonds will cease to be useful to us.

Related posts 

1. Bonds: The Great Gazoo Made me Take Steroids
2. Bittersweet Moment For Bonds: Surpasses Ruth, Faces Euthanization
3. Government to detain people who believe Barry Bonds
4. Unable To Use “Stupid”, Press Conference Breaks Up Early
5. Being Barry Bonds