Media mogul and sportsman Ted Turner waded into the Islamic cartoon controversy today, offering a $25 Million bounty for the head of any of the Danish cartoonists responsible for the images of Mohammed that have sparked worldwide Islamic outrage. Turner also said that he would be getting his 1977 America’s Cup winning yacht “Courageous” out of dry dock and using it to hunt for the offending illustrators among the islands of Denmark.

Turner arrived at the news conference with his America’s Cup skipper cap and a small crew of gyrating, bikini-clad male deckhands, and spoke passionately about the need to bring the Danish illustrators to justice.

“Ever since 9/11, I have marveled at the bravery of these young Islamic fundamentalists,” said Turner. “Their struggle against tyranny and poverty reminds me very much of my own youth, when I inherited my father’s billboard company and bought my first yacht. Well, I have heard the clarion call of my Islamic brethren. Not since I coined the phrase “superstation” have I felt so right about something. I will shoot those blasphemous breakfast pastries with my harpoon gun, Praise be to Alabama.”

Turner said the death of the Danish cartoonists would help the United States, in particular, get focused on more relevant problems.

“We need to deal with the Jesus freaks in this country,” explained Turner. “Christianity is indisputably the most dangerous movement in the history of mankind.”

In that spirit, Turner announced that TBS would be running a 24-hour loop of “The Last Temptation of Christ” until he sailed back into harbor with the heads of the cartoonists hanging from his rigging.

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