UPI) The Yankees were warned about Randy Johnson’s temper, so yesterday morning’s incident with a CBS cameraman, while unfortunate, was probably not surprising. But no one could have predicted the ensuing path of destruction that Johnson has carved through Manhattan. By day’s end, the once future Hall of Famer was on the lam with a hostage in a 69 Pontiac and being pursued by the FBI and local police.

Like a drunk on a bender, it seems Johnson snapped after the camera incident and is pursuing a personal orgy of mayhem and destruction. Hundreds of thousands of dollars in damage has been reported. Where it ends, no one can be quite sure.

“We’re shocked,” said Brian Cashman. “But we still hope to have Randy ready for spring training. We don’t have a roster spot for the hostage, however.”

After the camera incident, according to Yankee security, Johnson changed.

“He had this weird light in his eyes,” said Yankee Director of Security Jerry Laveroni. “He was talking a lot, going on about Satan and his soul. I just thought it was Randy being Randy.”
After being asked to disrobe for his physical, doctors and nurses came back into the examination room to find a horrifying site.

“He was squatting on the table, which is amazing given how tall he is,” said a distraught nurse who asked not to be identified. “And he was defecating. It was horrible. He was laughing while he did it and chanting something in…I think it was Turkish.”

Johnson then rampaged through the hospital in an un-tied hospital gown, in the process pushing patients, and biting several small children.

After finding his way to the street, Johnson overturned several vendor carts as pedestrians scattered. Police called to the scene tried to talk to Johnson but his rage continued.

Police lost track of Johnson when he darted into a subway, where he quickly blended in with all the other hospital-gown wearing lunatics.

A report from Northern NJ several hours later had Johnson identified as the driver of a 69 Pontiac headed west on Route 80. An unknown person was in the car with him. NJ Police were in pursuit, along with FBI helicopters.

“Sometimes these guys just need to let off some steam,” said Yankee manager Joe Torre. “I’m sure Randy will be back.”

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