Union representatives from the Air Line Pilots Association emerged from last night’s negotiations with Delta Airlines brass buoyed by a temporary agreement whereby they would take a 14% pay cut in exchange for free gifts from the coveted Sky Mall Shopping Catalog.

“You get this close, and you don’t back down,” said lead negotiator Larry Santo. “They knew what we wanted, and they finally caved. I’m finally going to get that motorized tie rack. Imagine, 72 ties, right at your finger tips. It’s uncanny, I tell you.”

Airline negotiators were pleased with the deal, given the large surplus of inventory that Sky Mall currently maintains. Still, they were hesitant to give the pilots what they wanted.

“It’s simple economics. If they all order self-cleaning litter boxes, we’re going to lose our shirts,” muttered Labor Relations VP Joe Schumer. “But we’re willing to take that chance in exchange for the pay cut.”

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