Peace Mom Cindy Sheehan answers your questions about life, love, and the Neo-Con PNAC agenda!

Dear Cindy:
I have been in a relationship with a man for two years, and I am in love with him. But, my question is when I say to him, “I love you—“ There is nothing — just silence. What is the problem? What should I do? Am I just fooling myself?
The Silence Is Slowly Killing Me, Anchorage, Alaska

Dear Silence:
In order to understand the psyschology of your man, you need to first look at history.

The first American men landed here 200 years ago from Israel, and they were evil, filth-mongering neo-cons, with sharp knives and bad intentions. That’s why they killed the Indians, and the killing has gone on, pretty much 24/7, since then. The question you should be asking yourself is not whether you need the love of your American man, but is he worthy of you? You should find yourself a man who appreciates you, perhaps a Swede, who knows about commitment and love, and who hasn’t been influenced by the PNAC agenda.

Dear Cindy:
My cat just jumped off the couch and collapsed…now she is walking, but slowly. She is only about 8 months old. I’m wondering if she ate one of the weird little bugs around our house. Nothing appears to be wrong with her legs.
Feeble Feline in Fresno
Dear Feeble:
At least your cat can eat. Did you know that most Iraqis have nothing at all to eat? They are trapped in their tee pees, unable to milk their goats or go to the Quick Chek, because American death rains on them from the sky. They would probably be happy to have some of your disease-addled bugs. I hope your cat dies.

Dear Cindy:

I am sorry for the loss of your son in Iraq. But it seems to me that Casey was doing what he wanted, that he chose to be there, and volunteered for the mission on which he was tragically killed. He was a patriot, in the truest sense of the word. So my question is, do you really think that Casey, if he could talk to you right now, would agree with your actions?Also, do you know how to get a blood stain out of a cashmere jacket?

Honest Seeker, Eugene, Oregon

Dear Neo-Fascist ChickenHawk:

If you believe so much in this war for oil, why aren’t you in Iraq? Most, if not all, of the U.S. soldiers in Iraq do not want to be there. They may not show it, because they’ve been brainwashed. Casey was too, he told me when I summoned him at a seance at Barbra Streisand’s house.And seltzer may do the trick with the blood stain, but I think you should leave the stain as a symbol of my son’s blood, which you now have on your hands.

Dear Cindy:
I have a quick math question for you: Jerry was 6 years old when his mother was 30. Now she is twice his age. How old is Jerry?
Curious in Copper Springs

Dear Curious:
Jerry is dead, killed in some far away land for oil and a neo-con agenda that only benefits a very chosen few in this world. His mother is grieving and driving an electric car.

(Cindy Sheehan is an anti-war activist who, according to New York Times Maureen Dowd, derives absolute moral authority from the death of her son in Iraq. She is currently on a speaking tour, offering her own eyebrow-raising view of world events. Ms Sheehan adamantly denies that she has used her son’s death for her own fame. For more on her story, see this month’s Vanity Fair, where she lies on her son’s grave in a heartrending photo spread).

Related posts 

1. Potfry Leftovers: Dear Cindy, First Edition
2. Dear Cindy!
3. Retro-Nose: Dear Cindy!
4. Cindy Sheehan Addresses Nobel Prize Nomination
5. Cindy Sheehan’s Prose