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Cindy Sheehan Gets Crash Course In Reactionary Liberalism
When the sun sets in Crawford and the TV crews retire for the evening, the work just begins for Cindy Sheehan and her handlers.
In an effort to quickly transform Ms. Sheehan into a credible spokesperson for the anti-war cause, liberal leaders have descended on the Sheehan encampment to perform a behind-the-scenes “Left-Wing Makeover.”
It is no small undertaking, according to those in the Sheehan camp.
“When Michael Moore discovered her and got her to agree to do this, we knew she was rough around the edges,” said an anonymous member of the Sheehan group. “But it was worse than we initially thought. Some of the stuff that came out of her mouth, particularly in the beginning, was senseless blather. I mean, did you hear that rant to the Veterans for Peace Convention? It was like the evil demon child of Andrew Dice Clay and Al Franken. I was expecting her head to swivel completely around.”
Indeed, Ms. Sheehan’s claim in that speech that ” if I started hitting something, I wouldn’t stop til it was dead,” left many in Crawford wondering if they wanted to be alone in the tent with the “Peace Mom.” If the left was going to take full advantage of this grieving mother, some professional help would need to be flown in.
“We needed to get her back on message,” explained the anonymous Sheehan-handler. “Well, actually, we needed to explain the message to her. She is very raw, but promising. She’s got the deep-rooted anger we look for in recruits.”
Sheehan is tutored each night for an hour by Michael Moore via videoconference. He quizzes her on his conspiracy theories, and often gets angry when she struggles. “Cindy,” he’ll say, “we can make you a star, but you’ve got to work with us. Now say it again, “This country is not worth dying for!” REPEAT! Bush Lies, People Die! REPEAT! Send the twins to Iraq! REPEAT!”
Barbra Streisand has also been enlisted to help Sheehan. Many feel that Streisand’s own experience in spouting off about topics that she’s painfully unfamiliar with can only help.
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oh - that is beautiful…
from kirazalan.net
Lets see how much LEARNIN (reading or thinking) this woman has done… heres Sheehan on Hardball:
MATTHEWS: Can I ask you a tough question? A very tough question.
SHEEHAN: Yes.
MATTHEWS: All right. If your son had been killed in Afghanistan, would you have a different feeling?
SHEEHAN: I don’t think so, Chris, because I believe that Afghanistan is almost the same thing. We’re fighting terrorism. Or terrorists, we’re saying. But they’re not contained in a country. This is an ideology and not an enemy. And we know that Iraq, Iraq had no terrorism. They were no threat to the United States of America.
MATTHEWS: But Afghanistan was harboring, the Taliban was harboring al-Qaida which is the group that attacked us on 9/11.
SHEEHAN: Well then we should have gone after al-Qaida and maybe not after the country of Afghanistan.
MATTHEWS: But that’s where they were being harbored. That’s where they were headquartered. Shouldn’t we go after their headquarters? Doesn’t that make sense?
SHEEHAN: Well, but there were a lot of innocent people killed in that invasion, too. … But I’m seeing that we’re sending our ground troops in to invade countries where the entire country wasn’t the problem. Especially Iraq. Iraq was no problem. And why do we send in invading armies to march into Afghanistan when we’re looking for a select group of people in that country?
So I believe that our troops should be brought home out of both places where we’re obviously not having any success in Afghanistan. Osama bin Laden is still on the loose and that’s who they told us was responsible for 9/11.
Hmmm… impressive scholarship. WHAT???