The New York Times, in a clear effort to take the lead in mollifying the world’s Islamic community over the Danish Mohammed cartoons, reprinted an image of a dung-covered Madonna this week to steer global dialogue back to the evils of Christianity.

The piece of art, conceived by artist Chris Ofili in 1999, drew national attention when it was displayed in a New York gallery and drew the ire of then New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani, sparking a national debate on government-funded free speech.

According to a Times’ spokeswoman, the decision to run the image again this week reflects the consensus of the editorial staff that the newspaper had a responsibility to reduce Islamic outrage around the globe by irritating the hell out of the majority of Americans.

“It was easy to decide not to run the Danish cartoons,” said Times spokeswoman Kathleen Delaney, “because all the newspapers were refusing to run it. We felt we had to take additional steps, because, well, we’re the New York Times. We felt the Dung-Covered Madonna could get us back to talking about the myth of virgin birth and the dangers of the Christian right.”

The Times felt that Islamic fanatics would find the image soothing, and is air-dropping extra copies into many areas around the globe where unrest has been most violent. The image will also be available for download on the Times’ website.

“We have a responsibility to reduce hate,” said Delaney. “And the Islamic community is rightfully offended by the utter insensitivity of the Danish cartoons. And free speech is fine until it freaks out a group capable of reducing your New York headquarters to rubble. Then it’s just a ‘nice-to-have.’”

Delaney was unmoved when asked if the paper feared a backlash from American Christians.

“Oh please,” she said. “Are you serious? What are they going to do, send us prayer booklets? They rant a bit, and then go back to….whatever people in red states do. I mean, how can you get angry about a little dung on your so-called Virgin Mary when there’s a monster truck pull that night?”

Delaney did make clear that the Times would not run a copy of Andres Serrano’s “Piss Christ”, an image featuring a crucifix in urine.

“Urine just doesn’t reproduce well in black and white,” she said. “We might try it in the Times Magazine instead.”

(Potfry Note: While this article is satirical, the New York Times did actually run the Dung-Covered Madonna picture this week).

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