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Top 9 Reasons Dick Cheney Shot His Hunting Partner
During a weekend quail-hunting trip in Texas, Vice-President Dick Cheney accidentally shot and wounded one his hunting companions. Harry Whittington is being treated at Christus Spohn Health System in Corpus Christi where he is reportedly “alert and doing fine.”
It goes without saying that we wish Mr. Whittington a speedy and full recovery. However, we decided to take a look into the situation to try and find out if this was really an “accident” as the Vice-President asserts, or if the true colors of a madman are beginning to show through as many on the left claim.
Through exhaustive research and tireless fact-checking we have compiled a list of possible motives. Decide for yourself which is the most likely scenario.
9. (tie) Harry kept talking about changing their names to Ennis and Jack and “starting up a sheep ranch out west together when we retire.”
9. (tie) Retaliation for Tupac.
8. One too many lesbian jokes.
7. (tie) It was Saturday.
7. (tie) He looked a bit like Howard Dean in that lighting.
6. With Jack Bauer’s kill count way down the last few weeks someone had to try and step up to the plate.
5. His dog talked him into it.
4. Wayne Gretzky’s wife bet him he wouldn’t do it.
3. He hadn’t bagged his limit.
2. To bolster his sagging “street cred” ratings.
1. To show Muslim extremists that they don’t have the market on crazy cornered just yet.
Technorati tags: Dick Cheney, Cheney, Howard Dean, hunting accident, Jack Bauer, Wayne Gretzky, Muslim extremists, conservative, satire, humor
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Cheney Shoots Fellow Hunter
WASHINGTON (AP/ABC News) - Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot and wounded a companion during a weekend quail hunting trip in Texas, spraying the fellow hunter in the face and chest with shotgun pellets.
Harry Whittington, a millionaire attorn…
#6, definetely #6.
My list is at http://miriamsideas.blogspot.com/2006/02/nine-things-i-hate-about-jimmy-carter.html
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