TNOYF Uncovers Transcript From MoveOn.org Brainstorming Session

The Nose On Your Face has uncovered the transcript of the MoveOn.org brainstorming meeting that produced the now infamous General “Betray-Us” advertisement in the New York Times.

MoveOn Chairman: All right folks, we are under a bit of a time crunch here. General Petraeus is set to speak to Congress in just seven days and we haven’t even begun to create an advertisement that preemptively maligns, discredits, and rebuts him yet. First things first. Dave, did you clear up that little snafu about paying the full advertising rates over at the Times?

Dave: Sure did. Turns out that the person I spoke with is new and was unaware of protocol. Shouldn’t be a problem again. Oh that reminds me, I’m going to neeed a purchase order for twenty-five bucks to cover the full-page spread.

MoveOn Chairman: Terrific. Okay, let’s start off by throwing some ideas, any ideas, out on the table.

Jim: How about we burn him in effigy?

MoveOn Chariman: Hmm. I like it, but it might be a bit too “Arab Street” even for the New York Times. What else?

Jeff: How about we burn him in actuality and then tell everyone he was a witch?

MoveOn Chairman: Okay, okay, build on that a bit….

Dave: Let’s use some logic here. It is common knowledge that Bush is the second coming of Hitler. Everyone knows that Hitler loved to swim…

Cathy: …and KILL!

Dave: Yes, but focus, Cathy. Where does one swim? A pond. What else swims in ponds?

Jeff: Diseased, oil-slathered beavers?

Cathy: Trout riddled with mercury because Bush didn’t ratify Kyoto?

Laura: Karl Rove’s fat mother?

All: Ha, ha, ha, that is rich-

Steve: Toads.

All: AH!

Dave: Exactly. And the relationship between witches and toads is exceedingly well-documented. Case closed.

MoveOn Chairman: Definite possibility. What else?

Laura: How about some sort of play on his name? Like “Slave-id Petreaus.” Get it? “Slave-id?” Because he is trying to make us slaves to the right wing machine?

MoveOn Chairman: Ooh. That’s good too. More?

Cathy: Or, David Petrol-us. Cause he’s all about the PETROL! NO WAR FOR OIL!

Laura: Ooh, ooh. How about- this is so cool- “Venereal Petreaus.” You see what I did there?

Jeff: No. Why can’t we set him on fire again?

MoveOn Chairman: Look closely, Jeff. Yes, Laura, yes I do. Damn. That’s strong as well.

Dave: I’ve got it! “General Betray-us!” Because what he will probably say clearly demonstrates that he betrayed us!

MoveOn Chairman: I’m not worthy. Folks, let’s take a minute to soak this up. We are in the presence of genius here. Genius. This is going to go down in history with “Bush Lied, People Died” and painting “War” at the bottom of “Stop” signs as one of the best progressive slogans of all time. Okay that’s a wrap. Let’s make this happen.

Share and Enjoy: These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages.
  • Digg
  • del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Technorati
  • Fark
Related posts 
  1. Laura Bush Immobilizes Hillary, Housekeeper
  2. Helen Thomas Sour On New Jack Bauer Role or “Bush Lied, Poopy Flied!”
  3. TNOYF Exclusive: Conservative Reaction To Julian Bond Comparing Bush To Hitler
  4. Couric, Elmo Have The Right Fluff
  5. TNOYF Exclusive: New Transcript Of Tony Snow’s Press Conference On Laura Bush’s Cancer

This entry was posted on Thursday, September 13th, 2007 at 1:00 pm and is filed under Conservative satire, Just Plain Old Nuts, Mainstream media, Politics. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

Comments

2 Responses to “TNOYF Uncovers Transcript From MoveOn.org Brainstorming Session”

  1. Jarhead68 on September 15th, 2007 9:31 am

    You know, that was probably, word for word, the way it really went. Did you have a mole at that meeting? Come on. Fess up.

  2. spurwing plover on September 15th, 2007 11:15 pm

    Liberals the so called loving and hugginh liberals the most into;ersnt bunch of hypotcrits around





Next: Retro-Nose: OJ Simpson’s Hypothetical Cell Mate Writes Book About How He Would Hypothetically Rape Him »
Previous: « Islamic Rage Boy “Disparaging” According To U.S. Trademark Office