A fascinating audio clip of a conversation between former Democratic White House hopefuls John Kerry and John Edwards found it’s way into our hands late last night. After authenticating the tape and consulting with our editorial review board, we decided that the public had a right to be informed of the contents.

During the course of the conversation, the two men criticized President Bush and his handling of the Middle East situation in the strongest, most absurd terms possible. At one point Senator Kerry went as far as to say that had he been the Commander-in-Chief, the recent hostilities in Lebanon between Israel and Hezbollah would not have occurred.

But perhaps the good senator protested a bit too strongly and absurdly. The following transcript reveals what many have believed to be true for quite some time: that the verbal politico-diarrhea coming from many on the left is disingenuous and that Kerry, and likely many others, is nothing but an undercover shill for the Republican Party. 

Beginning of transcript:

JK: “So then I said, ‘If I were president this incident in Lebanon would never have happened’.”

JE: “No you did not!”

JK: “Oh yes indeed I did.”

JE: “With a straight face?”

JK: “Do I have a different kind?”

JE: “Good point. You better be careful though. I am getting the feeling that they might be on to us.”

JK: “I doubt it. Who would ever believe that we are clandestine GOP operatives?”

JE: “Umm. Anyone who listens to what actually comes out of your ketchup-hole?”

JK: “I think not. As long as we have ‘D’s’ after our names we are untouchable. All we have to do is keep up the crazy leftist charade for a bit longer and we’ll be on easy street, just like Karl said.”

JE: “Fair enough. So what’s next?”

JK: “Next we call a press conference and I’ll announce that if I were president that I would have gotten the hot dog makers and bun manufacturers together by now to address the issue of them packaging and selling their respective products in the same increments.”   

JE: “Uh-huh.”

JK: “Then I send Teresa on a multi-state speaking tour armed with nothing but a helium tank and ten cases of Jolt! cola.” 

JE: “Brilliant.”

End of transcript.

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