We have received word that the United Arab Emirates owned company, Dubai Ports World, has agreed to turn over all of their operating interests in U.S. ports to an as yet unnamed American organization. This move comes after congressional Republicans warned President Bush that he would not have their support if the matter went to a vote. Both Democrats and Republicans alike have expressed skepticism in recent weeks over the now defunct transfer, as it was widely believed that such a move could have compromised U.S. security.

Late last night, in a misguided attempt to salvage the deal, DPW tried to assuage American fears by announcing that they had brought The Iron Sheik on board as their head of security. This announcement was met with wide disapproval and sealed the fate of the already teetering transaction.

“The public perception was the big thing for us,” stated Senator John Warner of Virginia. “I know that The Iron Sheik has an impeccable record in the area of port security that spans decades. However, the average citizen only remembers him from his wrestling days when he was virulently anti-American and often teamed up with the like-minded Communist Nikolai Volkoff. Twenty odd years of excellence in the defense field are easily negated by one camel clutch applied to the Hulkster.”

Thanks to: Mudville.

Technorati tags: Dubai Ports World, Port security, United Arab Emirates, President Bush, Dubai, humor, satire, conservative satire

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