This following transcript is from a White House Press Corps briefing from earlier today. In it, outgoing Press Secretary Scott McClellan is brought to task for alleged presidential snack food improprieties:

Q: It has come to our attention that- and this is a very serious question- that the White House only serves potato chips to visitors. My question would be, is there a White House policy that precludes the inclusion of other kinds of delicious snack items being served at official White House functions?

Mr. McClellan: Never heard of such a thing. Why just the other weekend I attended the annual White House Easter Egg Hunt and found four different types of tasty little treats at the snack table. 

Q: Two part follow up. First, can you name the other “tasty treats” as you call them, that you claim were served? Because quite frankly, I was at that event and did not see any variety. And second, isn’t it in fact true that President Bush is in bed with the Big Potato Chip Industry and that he’s using his influence to drive business their way?

Mr. McClellan: Great questions. I’ll take them in order. If my memory serves there were some Rold’s Gold pretzels… we had some of that yummy Carmel Corn and I believe there were individual boxes of Cracker Jacks as well. As to your second question, the answer is “no”. While President Bush maintains friendships with many of the leaders of the junk food industry, he does not favor one particular type of snack over another.

Q: Oh you are so busted Scott! You only listed three snack items and earlier you said there were four!

Mr. McClellan: That was four including potato chips.

Q: Aha! So you admit that there were potato chips served at an official White House function!

Mr. McClellan: I never denied that potato chips were served. I merely responded to your question regarding the exclusion of other snack items. I think I was very clear.

Q: So you’ve eaten other snacks here besides potato chips?

Mr. McClellan: In here, yes, sure.

Q: Be that as it may, would you say that potato chips are in fact President Bush’s favorite comfort food?

Mr. McClellan: I don’t feel comfortable answering that for the president with all certainty, but I will say that he does enjoy potato chips from time to time.

Q: Interesting. Are you aware of the fact that Adolf Hitler was a potato chip lover?

Mr. McClellan: Excuse me?

Q: Hitler loved chips. It is a historical fact. And now you are telling me Bush loves chips. Let me ask you Scott: what conclusion would you draw from this?

Mr. McClellan: That you just might be clinically insane?

Q: Close, but no.

Mr. McClellan: I think that is all for today…

Q: Don’t dodge the question Scott!

Mr. McClellan: … thanks to you all for…

Q: Scott is it in fact true that President Bush is responsible for the monsters in my closet?

Mr. McClellan: … coming out and I hope…

Q: I won’t be ignored Scott.

End of transcript.

Thanks to: Mudville, Wizbang

Technorati tags: mainstream media, White House, Scott McClellan, humor, satire, Bush

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