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Kucinich/MSNBC Debate Ruling Spurs 13-Year-Old To Sue For Sleepover Invite
Lawyers for 13-year-old Tracy Allsworth of Topeka, Kansas are citing today’s Nevada court ruling requiring MSNBC include Dennis Kucinich in Tuesday’s debate as precedent in demanding their client be invited to Brittany Cantor’s “Totally Awesome Sleepover” this Friday night.
The complaint, filed in Kansas Superior Court several hours after the Kucinich ruling was announced, alleges that Brittany Cantor is “in breach of verbal contract.” According to the documents, when Allsworth asked Cantor if she would be invited to the party, Cantor replied, “Yeah, right.” This created an expectation, say plantiff lawyers, that Ms. Cantor must now fulfill.
Allsworth’s legal team cited other parallels with the Kucinich case.
“The similarities are striking,” said lead attorney Calvin Baker. “First, Mr. Kucinich is polling in the low single digits nationwide, while Ms. Allsworth received only one vote in her recent class president election. Second, whereas MSNBC’s decision to leave Mr. Kucinich out of the debate reflects a desire to suppress his revolutionary ideas, we believe that Ms. Allsworth was not invited to the Totally Awesome Sleepover due to her innovative efforts to launch an after school ‘Booger Appreciation Club.’ And finally, Mr. Kucinich’s extraterrestrial activities have been well documented. Ms. Allsworth, owner of North America’s largest collection of Chewbacca hand-puppets and called ’space cadet’ by classmates, is also no stranger to the great beyond.”
According to legal experts, Cantor’s defense team has their work cut out for them, although there is hope.
“If I am Ms. Cantor’s attorney, I am most certainly going to be implementing one of two strategies,” said David Q. Weisenthaler, Esq. of Weisenthaler, Quinn, and Weisenthaler. “Either the ‘Lame Dork’ defense or the slightly more risky, but very potent ‘Temporary Humanity’ argument.”
When reached for comment, Kucinich was thrilled to hear that the court system was being used to level the playing field for Ms. Allsworth.
“I wish we’d had these sort of legal visionaries around when I was a kid,” said the presidential candidate. “Perhaps then I wouldn’t be suffering from all this testicular wedgie damage.”
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And let us the first thigs we o is we kill all the lawyers and send the kids to their rooms without having to listen to AL GORE blabbering
I sincerely hope that her attorney is seeking an immediate injunction of the sleepover. Without such a move, the sleepover will occur and it will all be moot. Please forward my contact information to her in case her attorney is a boob.