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Jimmy Carter Offers To Mediate British/Iranian Hostage Crisis
Former President Jimmy Carter has stepped forward and offered to mediate the escalating crisis between Iran and Britain over 15 British marines seized by Iran for allegedly entering their territorial waters.
“As everyone knows, I have tremendous hands-on experience in handling a crisis of this nature,” said Carter, who spoke briefly to reporters during a break from building a house for former Guantanamo Bay prisoners. “And I understand the Iranians. The manner in which you negotiate with them is highly dependent on the specifics of the issue. And in this case, where their sovereignty has been violated by tea-loving imperialists, a deft touch is critical.”
Carter said that his people were reaching out to the British government to offer his assistance.
“I’m very much hoping that I get a chance to help,” he said. “I would tell the British that they need to look past the details of who-seized-who and what voltages were used during the interrogations and embrace this as a broader opportunity. An opportunity to take a good look in the mirror and ask themselves what role they played in this. When we signed the Algiers Accords to get our infidels– uh, personnel–released in 1981, many felt I was rewarding the hostage-takers. And I say, no: I was compensating the oppressed. And if that’s what I’m guilty of, I only regret that I didn’t have more to give.”
Carter went on to say that he thinks people will look back on the 1979-1981 incident differently as time passes.
“I think history is already showing us that the Iranians did not seize American hostages as much as they detained illegal foreign occupiers who were using an alleged “embassy” as a front,” said Carter. “In fact, I am launching an effort now to change the history books, so that we no longer refer to that incident as the Iranian Hostage Crisis but as the Iranian Anti-Zionist Uprising.”
And Carter admitted he had a more personal reason to want to visit Tehran.
“I would really like to get back to Iran and apologize for that botched rescue mission I got talked into. I can’t imagine what sort of debris those helicopters left on Iranian soil.”
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Visit The Nose On Your Face’s online store for great conservative merchandise.
Including a full line of Islamic Rage Boy gear.
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[…] For those of you gnashing your teeth about the dust-up between some smelly Iranian seamen and the Brits, don’t worry. We’ve got a secret weapon who has dealt with the Iranians before. He knows what he’s doing. Former President Jimmy Carter has stepped forward and offered to mediate the escalating crisis between Iran and Britain over 15 British marines seized by Iran for allegedly entering their territorial waters. […]
Hey guys, I thought you only did satire. This real news reporting could catch on if you keep it up.
GM
Cancer Sucks!
And therein lies the rub, GM. The moonbats are trying to put us out of business.
You found someone as incompetent as the Idiot Bastard Son?
Congrats.
Jimmy Carter Offers To Mediate British/Iranian Hostage Crisis:…
“As everyone knows, I have tremendous hands-on experience in handling a crisis of this nature,” said Carter, who spoke briefly to reporters during a break from building a house for former Guantanamo Bay prisoners. (Nose On Your Face)……
good joke but this idiot can go to hell in one piece. the entire problem is his fault
The worst mistake we ever made was not extending the term of that wise wise man for another four years. Instead we got the end of international Communism. I swear it (Communism) was this close to working.
[…] The Nose on Your Face is repoting what must be the joke of the day. Former President Jimmy Carter has stepped forward and offered to mediate the escalating crisis between Iran and Britain over 15 British marines seized by Iran for allegedly entering their territorial waters. […]
Sunday Satire…
http://www.thenoseonyourface.com/2007/03/24/jimmy-carter-offers-to-mediate-britishiranian-hostage-crisis/Jimmy Carter Offers To Mediate British/Iranian Hostage Crisis H/T: The one and only SondraK……
Brits need Jimmah Cartah to negociate with Iran…
…
Is this fool going to live forever?? What happened to the actuarial tables, have they been hijacked or something, why doesn’t he do the right thing and die; is he a vampire or something. This old idiot should have bit the dust years ago but here he is still back stabbing the United States and taking money from the Saudi’s.
Oh, this is a put on? Its so real, just like things he has done in the past. He’s been on the payroll of the Saudi’s for so many years he dreams in Arabic and has four wives that he doesn’t tell Rosalyn about.
Is Carter deluded or just senile? The last time he was in charge of a similiar situation we ended up with chants of “Death to America” and the modern world’s first fundamentalist regime.
Jimmy Carter is delusionary fool so bent out of shape becuase of his sloppy presidentcy and his plain incompetence and stupididy
Jimmy Carter Offers To Mediate British/Iranian Hostage Crisis…
“I understand the Iranians. The manner in which you negotiate with them is highly dependent on the specifics of the ……
Heh, ditto GM Roper. I’m going to buy one of your shirts and model it for you.
Jimmy Carter says- “I can’t imagine what sort of debris those helicopters left on Iranian soil.”
It left American blood on the Iranian soil you A$$hole!!! And you did nothing, zip, nada, zero, about it. Rewrite history all you want but it won’t change these facts #1- You were a lousy president back then…and #2- You are even more useless today.
OOOPS!
Now Sean Penn is talking about soiled and blood soaked underwear in Oakland, Ca… Thanks to the Drudge Report…”butt” I think Penn must be talking about the debris left in Jimmy Carter’s Depends!
Jimmy Carter still a incompetent dunderhead
A constant refrain of my youth was that America is the land of opportunity, where any boy can grow up and become President. Sadly enough, Jimmy Carter proved that.
Iranians once showed JIMMY CARTER as adevil Wrong there buckos he was a INCOMETENT DUNDERHEAD
Iran parades British hostages…
Well, we all knew that this was coming. Here’s video of the hostages from LiveLeak (commentary in Arabic). One question: don’t these people get some type of SERE training? The female Marine already seems to be writing letters admitting guilt…