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Buoyed By Reception To His Pompadour, Rangel Seeks To Reinstate Draft
Riding a wave of popular support on the heels of his successful reintroduction of the “pompadour” 
hairstyle back into popular culture, U.S. Representative Charles Rangel is at it again. The New York-based Rangel has recently gone on the record as saying that he would like to see the draft reinstated as a means of preventing Republicans from launching, in his opinion, ill-conceived wars.
“This administration brought our country to war on the flimsiest of evidence,” Rangel opined. “Maybe they won’t be so quick to do so the next time if they have even more troops at their disposal.”
Rangel notes that his “more troops-less war” brainstorm is merely the beginning in a long line of future initiatives. The new chairman of the House Ways and Means Committee also has some very heady plans to deal with many of the other major issues of the day.
Some of the issues to be tackled, along with Rangel’s proposed solutions, include:
- pedophilia- “trench-coat & Skittles” schoolyard handouts
- childhood obesity- the “Stephen Hawking Fantasy Basketball Camp”
- global warming- “Campfires Across America”
- amotivational syndrome- a basement-to-basement, marijuana and pizza give-away program
A GOP spokesman did not have a specific response to any of Rangel’s proposals, but did say that he “always enjoys when Charlie gets in front of a microphone.”
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On behalf of the Republican Party, I would like to thank the ever-goofy Rangel for yet another gift. My eyes are moist from gratitude and laughter. What a choad.
HOWEVER! I propose that his name be added to the ‘Honor Roll of Rovian Moles’. Those “Democrats” who diligently dig the foundation for the coming Conservative Tsunami.
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ROVIAN MOLE HONOR ROLL - For just the month of November!
“Oopsie” Pelosi - for her heavy handed demands to put the tarnished and cowardly Jack Murtha in a position of responsibility. Way to set a standard! And before your congress has even sat! Wow! First Woman Speaker of the House and she kicks her own ass before leaving the starting gate! Incredible!
“Troop’r Dumb” Kerry (Carry) - for insulting the ENTIRE United States Military, their friends, families, and supporters, with one (1) stupid remark, while posing as a contender for Commander-in-Chief of those he considers at least retarded, if not outright idiots. You raise the bar high, Troop’r Dumb!
“Breck Grrl” Edwards - for bitching about low wages and benefits at Wal-Mart while sending an UNPAID WORKER to try to use the power(?) of the Edwards name(??) to jump the line and snag a totally sweet video game console from that self-same Wal-Mart! Not only a ‘Cheapskate Hypocrite of the Year Award’, but also a ‘Jesse Jackson Shakedown Award’ for the same thing! Dang!
“Drafty” Rangel - for best ‘comedy bomb’ in a major action. The “more troops, less war” is hilariously brilliant, and will go down in history as one of the great subversive “duhhhhh” moments in political boobery.
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Keep it up kids! It won’t put us back in power without some serious changes to the mindset of the existing crop of our membership. But, a few swift kicks to the groin and a simple plan is all they need to get back on track.
Got it guys? Repeat after me: “Reduce the Taxes, Win the War, Control Spending, Secure the Borders, Confirm the Judges”.
Get on that soonest, our moles can’t pull ‘08 off alone, but they’re doing a great job!
Thanks for the days laugh. It’s too bad that Charlie will be getting so much tv time with his much anticipated series of congressional hearings. If he’s on the news every night we may end up with people thinking that hairstyle is a good look.
To stop global warming i suggest that all enviromentalists wackos in GREENPEACE and other various eco-wacko groups keep thier mouths taped shut to halt all that HOT AIR