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Brit Hume Interviews Hillary Clinton About “Misspoken” Bosnia Story
Good day everyone. Today I will be speaking with Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton about her recent difficulties with “misspeaking” as she relayed details of a trip to Bosnia in 1996. Welcome Senator Clinton.
Hi Brit, it’s great to be here today. I’ll be glad to finally clear the air over this very unfortunate incident.
Now Senator Clinton, you claim that you simply misspoke when you said that you came under sniper fire during the trip. Yet, you provided vivid details of the incident and even described, quite convincingly might I add, how you had to duck for cover. Isn’t this more than simply misspeaking?
Is it Brit? Are we going to parse words here today? Is that what this is about? Because if that’s the case, I have a few examples of times you yourself have misspoke. January 23rd, 2005, during a segment on global warming, you pronounced “arctic” as “ar-tic.” On national television. Twice. So which was it? Were you lying or misspeaking? You can’t have it both ways.
Senator Clinton, that is hardly the same…
March 9th, 2006, during an interview with John McCain you pronounced his last name “Mah-cane” instead of the more widely accepted, and might I add proper, “Mick-cane.” What do you have to say about that?
I think we’re getting off track here, Sen-
Not much fun to be put under the microscope is it?
Senator, I hardly think swallowing the first “c” in arctic and your fanciful creation of a riveting drama involving snipers on a dangerous Balkan runway fall into the same category.
Tom-a-to, tom-ah-to, Brit.
Okay, for the sake of argument, and my rapidly fading sanity, let’s say that the recollections of your trip to Tuzla simply involved “misspeaking.” What many people find disturbing is the fact that there seems to be a pattern of extreme exaggeration at best, and outright deceit at worst with regards to your handling of truth and facts. In fact, let’s take a look at a photograph from your website under the section,”Hillary’s Heroic Deeds.”
Yes, that’s one of my favorites.
The caption reads, and I quote, “Showing a strong willingness to cross the aisle to help a fellow human being, Hillary Clinton fearlessly throws her body in the way of gunfire to protect former President Reagan. FBI experts agree that her actions likely saved the president’s life on that fateful day.” Do you honestly expect people to believe that you were present during the attempt on President Reagan’s life?
Pictures don’t lie Brit. And quite frankly, the memory is a dark one for me, so I’d prefer not to discuss it in any detail…
Of course you wouldn’t. Well then what about this next one?
Well that one certainly brings back memories! Good ol’ TR. I still remember storming the hill with him that day. Only at the time, it was known as “storming the mount.” Teddy changed it to “storming the hill” out of respect and admiration for my bravery during the battle.
You know, you don’t even bat an eyelash when you say these things.
Thank you. I’ve been told I have excellent control over my facial muscles.
Surely even you must admit that this next picture stretches the limits of credulity. Your website claims that you were a very influential senior aide to General Grant during the Civil War.
I am really glad you brought this up, Brit, because it will give me the opportunity to clear up two huge misconceptions. First, I clearly have a vast repository of military experience to draw on. And second, it proves that I was a huge Yankee supporter even before I began my Senate run in New York State a few years back.
Senator Clinton. Your presence in the Civil War would mean that you’re…what…165 years old?
I think you know better than to ask a woman her age, Brit.
Wow. Just, wow. You know, I’m going to take a little different approach for the remainder of our time, partially because I’ve lost the will to speak. I’m simply going to put up a photo and let you tell our viewers what it is we’re looking at.
You could have saved yourself a great deal of aggravation if you had simply employed that strategy from the get-go, Brit.
Someone just run the pictures, please. For the love of God.
D-Day. Ike thought my experience at San Juan Hill and Gettysburg would be valuable.
Ah, Saddam’s spider hole. Do you have the photo of the delousing I performed shortly afterwards?
The Miracle on Ice! Boy, we really shocked the Ruskies.
I see you lost a tooth.
Actually, goalie Jim Craig still has that tooth in a locket he wears around his neck.
Sweet mother of Jesus. Kill. Me. Now.
OK….here I am discovering fire. That’s Gorg in the background poking the fire, or as he called it, “ARRGGGHHH!”
Jimmy, can I get a double arsenic, neat?
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Tags: Bosnia, comedy, Conservative satire, funny, Hillary Clinton, humor, lie, lying, misspeak, misspoke, parody, Political correctness, Politics, presidential election, republican, Tuzla
Guys…one of your best evah.
Good. Really good.
Sorry for commenting a second time but that last comment had the wrong website.
Thats a Wuzza if there ever Wuzza Wuzza
Where’s the picture of when the house fell on her?
Oh, wait, wrong image.
Oh man, this was great! As a fellow fake newsist, I love this site.
Good stuff!
That’s General Sherman in the picture with her, not Grant. Which just goes to show… that there are no lengths this woman will not go to to make herself look good!
Where to begin? First, fire was not discovered, it was invented - by (who else?) Al Gore, the Father of Global Warming. Second, she was not at the Normandy beaches because she was busy in the South Pacific raising the flag on Mt. Suribachi(and being the complete multi-tasker, she also took the famous picture of the flag raising).And she was not a part of the Miracle on Ice because at the time she was busy weaning her son, Barack Obama.( Neither one of them wants to open than can of worms) Otherwise - another stellar performance! Keep up the good work.
I got a good cackle out of it.
Hills looks better in all these photos than I’ve ever seen her. Who’s doing her makeup?
Cheers,
Yewsah. My vote is for TR. He is running isn’t he?
Man I miss wuzzadem.
Ahoy Maties, Looks like Lady Fat Ankles got nailed.
Hi y’all,
Most excellent work! The picture of Hill which is used in the Reagan scene is my absolute favorite of her, showing your great good taste.
the Grit
I thought I would never be able to say this:
QUIT YOUR DAY JOBS!!!
Or, in the words of Oliver:
“More please.”
Well done guys…made me laugh…hard.
“I thought I would never be able to say this:
QUIT YOUR DAY JOBS!!!”
Thanks for the kind words LD. We did try that a while back, but we weren’t able to get much writing done with everybody coming by at all hours to repossess all of our stuff.
“I thought I would never be able to say this:
QUIT YOUR DAY JOBS!!!”
Thanks for the kind words LD. We did try that a while back, but we weren’t able to get much writing done with everybody coming by at all hours to repossess all of our stuff.
- That and the kids constantly harping about the hunger pangs.
You didn’t sell your kids too?
I think hillary should be cut some slack. she’s a woman afterall, what guy is surprised to hear that women lie?
http://roadtoimmortality.wordpress.com/
Too funny. Take it to Battle of the Blogs so more of us can have a great laugh….and you’re sure to win…just don’t battle with me, I’m not that funny lately.
Roxiticus Desperate Housewives
Battle of the Blogs is on BlogExplosion: http://www.blogexplosion.com/battleofblogs/
You wager your BlogExplosion credits (25-200 per competition) to take on another blog. 15 other bloggers vote on you, the winning blog gets 70% of the points and the other 30% get split among the people who voted for the winner.
If you have the points to spend, you should bet a significant number (say 75-100) because the same people/blogs (like me) usually participate over and over, and your post today is both fresh and hysterical. Good luck! Oh, and please vote for me (if you think my blog deserves your vote)….
Roxiticus Desperate Housewives
Love what you are doing here. Very funny and very entertaining. Definitely breaking some new ground with your technique.
Almost better than sex.
“Definitely breaking some new ground with your technique.”
Thanks for the comment Brett. However, we didn’t invent this style (wish we did). The first time I saw it was by a very funny guy named Wuzzadem.
Awesome stuff guys–an interesting side note, oh who am I kidding? This post needs no further additions from the likes of me. Keep up the great stuff!
Hill-arious.
Funny stuff!
I love it!!! Golden!!!