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McCain Comes Under Fire For “Bitter” Comments
Traveling in Pennsylvania today, Republican presidential candidate John McCain told a small town gathering that liberals gravitate to certain causes out of bitterness fomented by their failure to succeed despite impressive SAT scores, domination of the world of academia, and intellectually incurious opponents. 
“You go into these big cities in California, and, like a lot of big cities along both coasts of this great nation, you’ve got a multitude of Starbucks baristas with Ph.D’s in philosophy who can’t understand why the world doesn’t conform to their utopian vision,” said McCain. “So it’s not surprising that at a time when their country is the world’s sole superpower, using its military to fight a just war against Islamic terrorism, and its citizenry is renewing their faith in Christianity, they get bitter and cling to hopeless causes like partial-birth abortion, multi-culturalism, and the rehabilitation of serial killers.”
McCain campaign chairman Phil Gramm tried to head-off controversy as the senator’s comments made the rounds.
“Some will say that John McCain is stereotyping liberals,” said Gramm. “Still others will suggest that he’s out of touch with big-city values. So let me be clear: neither of these accusations approach the true depth of Senator McCain’s disdain for self-loathing leftist whiners who apparently spent a tad too long suckling at the grimy teat of their bohemian, unemployed mom.”
Democratic presidential hopeful Barack Obama was quick to respond.
“This is yet another example of how low Republicans are willing to stoop in order to get elected. I was particularly offended at Senator McCain’s insistence on quoting actual statements from Democrats to support his allegation, thus making it nearly impossible for me to redirect the debate to the vagaries of hope. I expected more from a man his age.”
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Tags: conservative, humor, McCain, obama, Politics, presidential election, Satire
An insensitive curmudgeon McCain is. His patriotic love of country and various other out of style WWII era values are not what we need to make America more like our drunken cousin, Canada.
Oh the horror of calling a duck a duck.
How dare McCain point out the obvious and not pretend that his direct view of his opposition has been obfuscated with terms like “affirmative action” and “neo-feminism”?
-Shame on you Mr. McCain for being honest.
“grimy teat of their bohemian, unemployed mom.”
Heh.
And don’t forget that the reason for all this bitterness is economic; our corporate greed mongers long ago outsourced all the highly paid philosophy and poetry manufacturing jobs to France.
What McCain said was beautiful and oh-so true.
There are no better values than those held by the folks who ran the joint during WW2.
I was born in 1943 and received those values in the womb through osmosis.
It would require the holographic medical doctor from the Star Ship Voyager, the get those values our of my genetic make up.
Apparently, some of your readers believe that McCain actually made these statements. Would that he had the balls. Would that he actually believed it. Your news is so fake that some of your readers don’t get just how fake it is.
Great job of exposing the wishful (to the point of delusional) thinking on the right — they will figure out a way to justify voting for McCain — and the hypocrisy of the left. Staggeringly effective.
Beyond irony, beyond bathos, pure genius.
what’s really weird is that some ****s in the middle of anywhere USA agree with this article’s tone, and believe the mock descriptions to be true. What I’ve found is that multiculturalism is what kicked the british out when America was founded, built our highways and railroads, and works for a lower wage for more dangerous jobs for the glory of capitalism.
What a great way to start the weekend. Thanks for the laugh. You’ve just made my favorites list.
Heh. Love it boys.
JMAC wil “Slap Daddy” either of the two flawed liberal whiners….
Wow. You guys rubbed some folks the wrong way with this one! Well done. Lets crack some 5 year old heads to celebrate!
“You guys rubbed some folks the wrong way with this one!”
That was Potfry. And just for the record, those allegations were never proven. And furthermore, in his defense, those subways are really crowded. A man has a right to reach in his own pocket doesn’t he?
“Lets crack some 5 year old heads to celebrate!”
That is so last week, John. We’ve moved on to 6 year olds. But I suppose we could go on one final “kindergartener beat down bender” with you. For old time’s sake.
“what’s really weird is that some ****s in the middle of anywhere USA agree with this article’s tone, and believe the mock descriptions to be true. What I’ve found is that multiculturalism is what kicked the british out when America was founded, built our highways and railroads, and works for a lower wage for more dangerous jobs for the glory of capitalism.”
It’s wonderful when comments serendipitously lend credence to the post.
“It’s wonderful when comments serendipitously lend credence to the post.”
Perfect…
It’s been a while since I surfed by TNOYF. Glad I did, I always get a laugh!
You mean it was a joke?
Just kidding. I gotta clean the spew from my keyboard now. Maybe when I stop laughing…
I agree John.
Thanks Roxiticus. Glad you stopped by!
It was a joke? Potfry told me that he had it on a good source–a Jacob or Jayson Blair or something like that–that this was a legit quote.
I agree McCain was over the top. It’s time to get back to “the vagaries of hope” …and let’s not forget “Change.”
But, let’s not go over-board with the Change part – particularly in California. We can’t afford to let that fine blue state slip into the red… Except for budgetary matters… /
http://grizzlymountain.blogspot.com/
Excellent satire. If the presidential contest was decided by writing a college term paper, Barack would certainly win. Unfortunately for him, it’s decided on other matters.
“…I was particularly offended at Senator McCain’s insistence on quoting actual statements from Democrats to support his allegation,…”
SWIFTBOATING! OMG!!