Even many years into his retirement, ex-NBA great Larry Bird still elicits a considerable amount of loyalty from his fans. Eric James Torpy and his attorneys had reached a plea agreement with prosecutors in Oklahoma that would have sent him to jail for 30 years on charges of shooting with intent to kill and robbery. Torpy surprised everyone by requesting that his sentence be upped to 33 years to match the number worn by his hero, Larry Bird.

“Wow, this is awesome,” gushed Torpy. “Number 33. Just like Larry Legend! He’ll want to meet me now and we’ll become best friends. He’ll probably be by to see me every visiting day. He’ll be all like ‘ Hey Eric, I baked you some oatmeal raisin cookies in my officially licensed Larry Bird NBA E-Z Bake Oven‘. And then I’ll be all like ‘Oh, Larry that was really thoughtful, but you know I’m allergic to raisins.’ And then he’ll be all ‘Dude your in prison. Don’t be so fussy.’ And then I’ll be like “Hey, I know your Larry Bird and all but I’m not breaking out in hives for anyone.’ And he’ll be like “Oh Eric, don’t be angry. I’ll bake you chocolate chip cookies later.’ Then we’ll make up and laugh and laugh over the silliness of the argument (sigh).”

In a related matter, a fan of rocker Tommy Lee was overjoyed when the judge in his trespassing case complied with his sentencing request and upped his term from 3 months to 13 1/2 years.

Thanks to Mudville, The Political Teen.

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