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Top 9 Little Known Facts About Ezra Levant

160_ezra_levant_060214.jpg9. Global warming began when Ezra Levant willed the temperature in Canada up a few degrees–you know, just to take the chill out of the air.

8. 95% of all monsters surveyed reported that they are either “absolutely terrified” or “hysterically afraid” of Ezra Levant. Levant already ate the remaining 5%.

7. Ezra Levant once looked Helen Thomas directly in the face and lived to tell about it.

6. (tie) Ezra Levant can grow a thicker mustache than both Tom Selleck and Rosie O’Donnell.

6. (tie) Ezra Levant is actually registered twice as a lethal weapon: once for himself and once for his aura.

5. Ezra Levant eats live cougars sprinkled with Jack Bauer, washes it down with a sandpaper and Chuck Liddell milkshake, and then wipes himself with Chuck Norris.

4. Ezra Levant got the gang from Scooby Doo to stop meddling. Singlehandedly.

3. Ezra Levant forced the band “Better Than Ezra” to change their name to “Alberta Human Rights Commission”: because no one is better than Ezra.

2. New studies show that Muslim suicide bombers aren’t sacrificing themselves for Allah, they’re just trying to escape the wrath of Ezra Levant.

1. If you ever find yourself being persecuted for your views by one of those politically correct government types, simply say “Ezra Levant” three times really fast. He will appear out of thin air and reduce the offender to a whimpering kitten in no time flat with his irresistible onslaught of crane-style verbal kung fu.

DONATE TO EZRA LEVANT’S DEFENSE FUND HERE (Top right corner.)

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This entry was posted on Monday, January 14th, 2008 at 8:49 pm and is filed under Conservative satire, Islamofascism, Just Plain Old Nuts, Political correctness, Top 9 Lists. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

Comments

7 Responses to “Top 9 Little Known Facts About Ezra Levant”

  1. Stacy on January 14th, 2008 11:22 pm

    Hell yea baby!!! I look forward to Ezra seeking political asylum here in the states.

    #7 was my favorite.

  2. Murphy Klasing on January 15th, 2008 2:55 am

    I love this guy. Although–I have to say that I felt kind of sorry for his lawyer. I’m sure he was thinking–crap, please stop talking. But what he had to say was brilliant!

  3. Don Sharpe on January 15th, 2008 5:04 am

    Like a political ‘Clark Kent’, mild mannered Ezra unleashes his superpower ‘western common sense’ on the frumpy arch enemy of free people everywhere! It’s a citizen, it’s a journalist, it’s Super-Ezra!

  4. Nigel on January 15th, 2008 10:45 am

    Ezra Levant forced the band “Better Than Ezra” to change their name to “Alberta Human Rights Commission”: because no one is better than Ezra…

    Heh.

    #3 (tie) Ezra Levant was deployed to Afghanistan with the Canadian Army…his commanding officers sent him back after 4 days because he kept calling them “pussies”…

  5. Cao on January 15th, 2008 11:53 am

    …because nobody’s ‘better than ezra’…LOL this is priceless.

  6. William on January 15th, 2008 4:35 pm

    I thought that the HRC representative was Col. Klegg from the James Bond movie “From Russia With Love”.

  7. ScottH on January 16th, 2008 6:10 pm

    Could he best Space Moose in another debate?

    http://www.lost.co.nz/main/library/spacemoose/strips/debate.png

    Background on the comic strip here:

    http://www.lost.co.nz/main/library/spacemoose/notes95.html#debate





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