A Taliban spokesman, sporting a crisp, neatly pressed Kurta shirt, denied allegations today that his group was extending the deadline for the 21 South Korean hostages so that his group could secure on-going dry cleaning services.

“Our mission remains the release of jihadists,” said Qari Yousef Ahmadi, the Taliban spokesman.  “But have you seen the whites in my turban?  Up until now, we were at the mercy of our own women, who only understood bleach as a weapon of eye-torture.  Thanks to the South Koreans, we now understand the difference between white and white.”

U.S. soldiers have reported a surprising increase in the number of Taliban enemies with amazingly clean, crisp clothing.

“We’re used to seeing enemies with ragged, blood-stained garments,” said Marine Sargent  Cal Arnold.  ” But lately, the Taliban have looked damn good.  It’s startling, truth be told.  We’ve taken a few prisoners who demanded that their tunics get light starch and hung on hangers.”

But spokesman Ahmadi says that garment-care has nothing to do with the on-going negotiations.

“We are revolutionaries,” he explained.  “We don’t really care about appearance.  But who’s to argue with a clean, sharply-pressed shirt when you know you’re going to be seeing 72 virgins?”

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