Although dismissed by many as a lunatic and a psychopath after stating that Iran does not have the “phenomenon of homosexuality,” scientists are now saying that Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad may in fact be speaking the truth.

“Iran is located in a very unique area of the world,” said Dr. Thomas Linderacker, chariman of Harvard University’s Paranormal Studies Department. “Much like the Bermuda Triangle, there are in fact many occurrences that we just do not have answers for. We have discovered that for some reason, literally the second a homosexually-themed person or object crosses the border into Iran, they instantly turn hetero. I know it sounds ridiculous, but it has been well-documented. The closest thing I can compare it to is the way that things immediately grow larger once they enter Texas, or the way that ordinary inanimate objects become edible when they are in the presence of Rosie O’Donnell.”

Linderacker provided the following photographic evidence to support his claim (click to enlarge):

Linderacker did point out, though, that the Iranian “Gay-Blaster” Forcefield was often powerless when confronted with “super strength gay. You know what I mean– that pure, unadulterated, show-tune strength gayness that makes ovaries contract and dogs whimper.”

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