The Nose On Your Face has received information that world- renowned “hide-n-seek” champion Mullah Mohammed Omar will be retiring from international competition sometime this fall.

Omar issued the following statement during a recent cave-side press conference:

” I can’t believe it’s almost been four years! What a run, eh? (applause) It was great while it lasted. But it is now time to move on (applause). Wow. Thank you, thank you. I promised myself I wouldn’t cry but… OK… Let’s see. I have met so many fabulous people along the way. People who truly love the game and were kind enough to share their knowledge with me.

I am talking about such greats as Jimmy Hoffa (applause). Waldo (applause) and countless Cuban dissidents (applause). And of course, my main mullah Osama. If it wasn’t for this crazy s.o.b. I might never have found the sport that I love. You’re the bomb man!

I have been called a terrorist. An islamofascist. And a fanatic. Guilty on all charges! But there is one thing that I do not want to be labeled: Long-winded (applause).

So in closing, I will paraphrase the infidel Minnie Minosa and say: hide-n-seek been berry, berry good to me. Thank you.”   

Omar does not have any concrete plans for his retirement but did say that he might “dabble a bit in Jihad”.

In other news, former President Clinton has called for The White House to declare war on STD’s.

Note: Thanks to Mudville, OTB and My Vast Right Wing Conspiracy.

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