It is not easy being an Islamofascist these days. The United States “War On Terror” is going even better than planned with daily victories throughout the Middle East (in several incidents, Iraqi civilians have actually started defending themselves). Many terrorists have begun protesting their own actions in a new phenomenon called ‘victimless suicide’. And perhaps most troubling of all laziness, which many experts believed was a strictly French trait, has begun showing up in many Arab youths.

“Oh it is terrible! Not at all like the old days of jihad,” wailed Allah-al Allahaha, spokesman for the Board of Cooperative Islamofascist Organizations (BCIO).”These kids today are complacent. They don’t want to work. However, we are very optimistic that our new marketing campaign will bring many new morons… I mean martyrs… bring many martyrs into the noble fight against the Great Satan.”

The new recruitment incentives for martyrs and their families include:

• 100 virgins (instead of the more traditional 72)
• Great new apparel that reads: “My son blew himself up for Allah and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.”
• More chick peas
• Use of their likeness in new PlayStation II game “Grand Theft Auto 3: The Slums of Palestine”
• A visit from “Extreme Makeover: Hut Edition”

Update: The Nose On Your Face has just learned that BCIO has just signed William Shatner to a 2-year deal that will make him the “voice of jihad” in an upcoming radio campaign.

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