Disco fans the world over have reacted with both caution and delight to a man claiming to be the legendary fourth Bee Gee. Earlier today the man, who goes by the name “Mahmoud Gibb”, called a press conference to announce his return to the Western World.

For his part, Gibbs claims that he was bartered away by his parents at an early age and sent to live in the Middle East.

“My parents were very poor and did not have enough money to take care of all of us,” said a somber Gibb. “And since I was the swarthiest looking one… I was traded to an Iranian lentil vendor in exchange for a sack of beans and three boxes of feathered hair.”

Through it all, Gibbs has remained surprisingly upbeat.

“I do not blame my folks. They did the best that they could. But after Maurice’s death in 2003, I knew I had to find a way out of Iran so that I could reunite with my brothers.”

Although separated from his better known brothers by a great many miles, Gibbs’ natural talent began to shine through and eventually took him to the heights of Iranian pop culture.

“After I cut ‘How Deep Is Your Shallow Grave?‘ things really took off for me,” Gibbs recalled. “Then the next thing I knew ‘Night Cleaver’ and  ‘If I Can’t Have You (Then By Saladin’s Sword No One Will Have You!)’ both hit big and I was a star.”

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