The terror trial of Hamid Hayat and his father Umer, now underway in Lodi, California, has already yielded a potentially critical piece of information in the War On Terror. Former convenience store manager, and current government informant, Nasseem Khan testified that during the late 1990’s he regularly witnessed Al Qaeda number two man Ayman Zawahiri attending a Lodi mosque as well as the Speedy Mart that Khan managed .

“He was coming to my store every time,” Khan said. “Never buying anything, only watching out the window to see if he was being followed all the while humming Mambo Number 5. ‘Just browsing’ he’d always say. After about five such visits I confronted him. I said, ‘You must buy something’. After that he would ask for items… real sarcastic-like… items that he knew that I did not carry. One day it was ‘exploding Slim Jim’s’ the next it was ‘weapons grade Nutella’. I do not even think these are real products. A pox on him and Lou Bega.”      

The FBI believes that Zawahiri was in Lodi for a fund-raising trip, much like the ones that he and other Al Qaeda leaders made during the late 1980’s.

“California would be the logical place,” noted one FBI official. “Most of the military personnel in the state are either tied up in court fighting to re-obtain the right to recruit on college campuses, or trying to protect the lives of a tofu-centric, homeless, re-gendered citizenry that feels that the breach between America and the terrorists can best be bridged by playing the bongos while under the influence of legalized marijuana.”

Technorati tags: Lodi California, terror trial, terrorism, war on terror, Ayman Zawahiri, FBI, informant, conservative, satire, humor, conservative satire

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