Fox News recently reported that Al Qaeda members have taken to using the porous U.S.-Mexico border as a means to infiltrate the former country. As one border patrol agent recently discovered, this was no idle warning.

“We’ve had our suspicions for quite some time,” said Agent Daniel Simpson. “First thing we noticed was that some of the illegals weren’t stopping for siestas on their journey. That puzzled us, but we wrote it off thinking that maybe they were just Colombian or something. Next we turned up a few copies of Camel Fancy magazine, and our radar really went up. But hey, everyone has their own thing. I’m not ashamed to admit I still get a bit tingly during The Crying Game. To each his own.”

Simpson continued.

“Then we began noticing some subtle language differences. For instance, when we captured them, many of the illegals were greeting us with ‘hola akhbar’. This might happen once or twice and be written off as a misunderstanding, but this was occurring too frequently to be an accident.”

However, at least one man disagrees with Simpson’s assertion.

“This is a most racist and disgraceful characterization, this gringo has made,” said Fernando al Tikriti bin Gomez. “By Allah’s beard I will remove the worthless pig’s head with my scimitar…is, ummm, what I would say were I anything other than an honest and upstanding Mexican national, looking to cross peacefully into the land of the Great Satan to find employment to support his family.”

CAIR representative Ibrahim Hooper was unavailable for comment, but his answering machine did contain a message that offered an official blanket condemnation against “any Westerner who: insults Islam; makes fun of Islam; has not yet accepted Islam; acknowledges Islam exists; and uses the words “I” and “slam” in a sentence together which would clearly fall under the category of an insult.

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