A growing body of evidence is mounting that points to an inevitable, and quite incredible, conclusion with regard to terrorist mastermind Osama Bin Laden. The Nose On Your Face is reporting today that the Al Qaeda front-man is not only alive, but that he has been living in the United States on and off for many years as NBA journeyman center Shawn Bradley.   

At least one of “Bradley’s” former teammates agrees with this claim.

“Man, we all have some crazy pre-game rituals,” said the player who asked to not be identified. “Me? I have to wear my underwear inside out and drive the exact same route to every one of our home games while humming ‘I’m A Little Teapot’. But this cat… this cat was off the wall. Before each game he would videotape himself cutting off the head of the other team’s mascot. Next he’d brutally stab six bagels… it had to be six, you did not want to see what happened if he only had five… with a dagger. Finally he would set fire to a Lenny Kravitz CD; American Woman. And I like that song.”

Terrorism expert Harley Wakefield also backs this assertion.

“Aside from the fact that the two men have never been seen together, let’s look at what we know,” stated Wakefield. “Bin Laden often talks of 72 virgins, Bradley is in fact a 7′2” virgin. Our code breakers were all over this one. Both men are quite religious and they consistently get muscled out of the paint. Neither one of them has a Danish cartoon collection. Furthermore, Bradley is known to disappear for long stretches during games and Bin Laden’s ability to remain hidden goes without saying.”

We believe that this photograph from the mid-1990’s of Bin Laden/Bradley with reluctant ally Saddam Hussein further cements this claim.

Technorati tags: Shawn Bradley, Saddam Hussein, Osama Bin Laden, terrorism, Danish Cartoon, satire, humor

Thanks to: Mudville

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