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Paris Hilton’s Ob-Gyn Incident Still Classified As “Rescue”, May Move To “Recovery” Soon

What started out as a routine gynecological visit took a tragic turn yesterday when one doctor lost his footing while examining hotel heiress Paris Hilton. Dr. Jack Talerico, known as the “gynecologist to the stars”, slipped while attempting to examine a small lesion in her groin area. gynecology-exam.jpg

“He was right next to me and when I looked up, he had begun sliding,” said Talerico’s partner Dr. Philip McCavanaugh. “In the old days that wouldn’t have been a problem, but there was nothing for him to grab on to. I’ll never forget his last words: ‘Help-elp-elp-elp-elp-elp… me-e-e-e-e-e-e-e!’ I do believe they will haunt me forever.”

Rescuers have not yet given up hope, although the likelihood for a safe recovery seems small.

“I don’t mean to be pessimistic, but the outlook is not good,” said Captain Dave Sanderson of the California National Guard’s 101st Spelunker Brigade. “Of course we’ll continue the search, but I can’t help thinking of the Courtney Love colonoscopy incident of ‘03. We lost a lot of good men that day. A lot of good men.”

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This entry was posted on Friday, February 23rd, 2007 at 8:45 am and is filed under Conservative satire, Fake News, Hollywood. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

Comments

10 Responses to “Paris Hilton’s Ob-Gyn Incident Still Classified As “Rescue”, May Move To “Recovery” Soon”

  1. University Update on February 23rd, 2007 10:25 am

    Paris Hilton’s Ob-Gyn Incident Still Classified As “Rescue”, May ……

    …

  2. The Saloon dot net on February 23rd, 2007 12:15 pm

    Paris Hilton’s Ob-Gyn Incident Still Classified As “Rescue”, May Move To “Recovery” Soon…

    More >>>…

  3. Frank on February 23rd, 2007 12:56 pm

    (cough)

    That pic and caption… OH MY…

    That is OUSTANDING!!!!!!!

    I’ll be laughing that for days… Thanks!

  4. rexrs on February 23rd, 2007 7:55 pm

    This is the highest form of your art…very funny.

  5. L. D. Anderson on February 24th, 2007 12:16 pm

    Rexrs (above) is half wholly wrong. This hole represents the lowest form of your art. Hole art is always low art.; but, in this instance, it is still funny — about that hafl of the whole rexrs is right.

  6. John on February 24th, 2007 5:17 pm

    The fumes would be the most dangerous aspect, not the fall.

  7. Pete on February 25th, 2007 12:14 pm

    Methinks this cave accommadates many huge intruders - hence the good Doctor’s end would be quick :)

  8. Rodney Dill on February 25th, 2007 8:37 pm

    The only thing larger was Jessica Cutler’s rectum.

  9. spurwing plover on February 28th, 2007 4:35 pm

    Hey i thought all this global warming would put a end to all this?

  10. Don't Rescue Paris on June 13th, 2007 3:29 am

    Hilarious!





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