“Hell No, Don’t Touch Our Blow!”: Celebs Finally Get Terror War

New evidence is coming to light that indicates that Osama bin Laden had crafted a detailed plan to “buy a massive amount of cocaine, spike it with poison and sell it in the United States” in early 2002 as a follow up to the 9/11 attacks. Bin Laden discussed the plot in detail with Colombian drug lords who eventually nixed the deal for fear of losing business in the long run.

However, the Al Qaeda front man, who is best known for murdering thousands of innocent people in multiple terrorist attacks over the years, may have crossed the proverbial line this time around.

TNOYF’s Senior Hollywood Narcotics Correspondent reports that she “has not seen this much rage in Hollywood since the fall of Communism.”

Initially opposed to President Bush’s “War On Terror“, many of Tinseltown’s biggest stars and producers have now staked out a quite hawkish stance.   

” First of all I can’t even believe there are people out there who would do this kind of thing, ” stated one Hollywood insider who asked to only be identified as R. Downey Jr. for purposes of anonymity. ” I mean sure you expect your White Pony to be cut a little bit, but poison? That’s so weak. Down with Al Qaeda!”

Director O. Stone (first name omitted by request) had this to say: “This makes me so mad that I’m gonna’… I’ll… umm… I’ll tell you what I’ll do. I’ll make a movie that depicts these terrorists in a less than flattering light!”

In other news, Ted Kennedy’s liver has officially seceded from his body.

Hat tip RWN. This post is also available at Blogger News Network. Thanks to Mudville & OTB.

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, July 27th, 2005 at 11:39 am and is filed under Conservative satire, Fake News, Hollywood, Islamofascism, Satire. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

Comments

One Response to ““Hell No, Don’t Touch Our Blow!”: Celebs Finally Get Terror War”

  1. Conservative Cat on July 28th, 2005 1:31 am

    Wednesday

    Wizbang: Brother, can you spare an endorsement? Terriorists: Barking-Mad Squirrel Antics Spell Trouble Basil’s Blog: Headline News Nose on Your Face: “Hell No, Don’t Touch Our Blow!”: Celebs Finally Get Terror War…





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