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Celebrity Continental Baby Bingo Heats Up
Pop superstar and erstwhile whore Madonna recently saw her bid to win “Celebrity Continental Baby Bingo” hit an unexpected snag when her deft move to land a coveted Malawian child was nixed for what she claims are “political reasons”. Madonna already has to her credit a teenage Senegalese leper, twin retarded Inca girls and a spotted owl-Nepalese mix (that deservedly won “best-in-show” at the recent Hollywood Adoption Circus), but remains blocked from completing the row while Malawianese officials mull over the adoption.
Meanwhile, after eating one of the Cambodian toddlers from her Southeast Asian collection, Rosie O’Donnell has bounced back with a rare find: an armless, alcoholic dwarf-toddler from the Ukraine. Authorities say that the toddler actually had one arm before Ms. O’Donnell met him, a claim that Ms. O’Donnell disputes vigorously. 
Finally, after getting off to a slow start, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie seem to be finding the form that made them champions in last year’s competition. The couple recently announced that they’ve adopted an epileptic penguin-human half-breed from Antarctica they claim they found while they were on an excursion to fight global warming. Woody Allen, honorary chairman of this year’s contest, immediately accused the pair of illegal genetic engineering and planting the bird-child, forcing Celebrity Continental Baby Bingo authorities to launch an investigation.
- Malawi Snafu Blocks Madonna’s Celebrity Adoption Bingo Win
- Jolie/Pitt Adopt Vietnamese Child, Go 500 Points Clear Of Madonna Atop The Leaderboard
- Foreign Orphans Scurrying To Clean Up In advance Of Celebrity Adoption Visits
- Couric, Elmo Have The Right Fluff
- Top 9 Shocking Stunts That Madonna Has Left To Try
This entry was posted
on Monday, October 16th, 2006 at 12:56 pm and is filed under Hollywood.
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I especially like the “an armless, alcoholic dwarf-toddler from the Ukraine”, heh.
I don’t understand why Madonna has to have THAT particular child. She rushed the kid out of the country on a private jet, no less than 60 something human rights groups are mad at her. The kid has a father and grandmother. If Madonna had to have a kid, why not one that was orphaned? She could have given this kid’s family a few bucks and they could have lives like kings. I don’t get it. He must have really been a ‘rare species’.
Good post.
Thanks Debbie.
“If Madonna had to have a kid, why not one that was orphaned?”
The answer to the question is: “Because she’s Madonna and that was the kid she wanted.”
How much CO2 is produced by the avrage hollywood cleberty traveling around to various earthday events and traveling to their boring award shows while their blabbering about this whole nonsnense about global warming and just how mush HOT AIR do they produce as well?