NASA admitted today that the objects discovered floating around the space shuttle were actually from the shuttle toilet, which had been recently emptied. The shuttle landing was delayed while astronauts struggled to determine the cause of the debris.

“It’s a bit embarrassing,” said Flight director Paul Dye. “We thought it might be something important like the landing gear, and turns out to be mainly astronaut poop.”

In addition to human waste, Dye said they had catalogued many other items that had found their way into space via the shuttle’s toilet:

1)     empty packets of Tang

2)     One used “Thruster Boy” condom

3)     A slightly soiled copy of Astronaut Quarterly

4)     A VHS copy of the movie “Gigli”

5)     A NASA cocktail napkin with the phone number of the Russian cosmonaut

6)     Several dozen Milky Way wrappers

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