A Florida couple taking their self-described “dream cruise” watched it quickly turn into a nightmare due to an infestation of bed bugs in their cabin. Over the course of their first evening in their bed, the couple received hundreds of bites from the tiny insects.

“It was horrible. They were everywhere,” stated a visibly swollen Nathalie Wasserstorm. “The evening started off lovely. We had a great meal. The singer was terrific (I would have sworn that man was the real Elvis). We even got to meet Gopher. But when we woke up the next morning my husband… (sobbing)… I’m sorry… it’s very difficult to talk about… my husband and I looked like Uday and Qusay’s “after” shots.

The Wasserstorm’s did admit at least partial responsibility for the incident since they failed to follow ship procedures that require each passenger to tell their cabin mate to “sleep tight” and “don’t let the bed bugs bite.” Legal experts feel that this oversight may negate any legal action on the couple’s part.

“Of course we here at Royal Caribbean feel horrible about this incident, but they were informed of the risks,” stated a company spokesman. “A copy of the Bed Bug Manifesto is clearly posted in each cabin and in multiple locations aboard the SS Sting & Welt.

Update: TNOYF has just learned that the Wasserstorm’s have received an offer for a reality tv show from the FOX network. The details still need to be worked out but one FOX official described the proposed show as “the Orkin Man meets Ted Knight on The Titanic ala Desperate Housewives cum American Idol. With a twist.” 

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