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All-time Best Fake Thanksgiving Quotes

We have compiled some lesser known, fake Thanksgiving quotes for your holiday reading enjoyment.

“Thanksgiving is just another exploitative white capitalistic pig holiday.” - Michael Moore at the release for his new anti-Thanksgiving movie, “Is That Smallpox In Your Blanket Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?’, and the accompanying line of action figures.

“All I know is my great grandparents slept in a tee-pee. I have the luxury suite at the Turning Stone Casino.” - Chief Counting Coin of the Oneida Indian Tribe in response to Katie Couric’s question about the treachery committed against his people by the white man after the first Thanksgiving.

“Before you go out and buy that Butterball for your Thanksgiving Day feast remember this: turkey meat causes AIDS.” PETA spokesman Drab Futar.

“I’m not sure what Mr. Futar and his friends are doing to their turkeys, and I don’t believe I want to know. However, I can assure you that the worst thing that has happened to me after eating turkey is that I became very gassy and fell asleep during a conversation with my aunt Eleanor.” - Butterball Turkey spokesman Nick Mitchelson in response to Futar’s comment.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Thanks to California Conservative, Political Teen, 2 Babes and a Brain.

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This entry was posted on Thursday, November 24th, 2005 at 7:35 am and is filed under Et al. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

Comments

7 Responses to “All-time Best Fake Thanksgiving Quotes”

  1. Rodney Dill on November 24th, 2005 10:20 am

    Arthur ‘Big Guy’ Carlson: As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.

    (well its not exactly a ‘fake’ Thanksgiving quote)

    Happy Thanksgiving!

  2. 21st Century Paladin on November 24th, 2005 11:51 am

    Dojo Info 11/24/05

    Kentucky 63, Iowa 67
    First loss of the season and Yes! it hurts. Things might get even worse as Kentucky gets W. Virginia in the consolation game.
    War on Brats
    What a title?!? Its not a bloody war. Its a the right of the…

  3. Jane on November 24th, 2005 12:51 pm

    Happy Thanksgiving!

  4. Greta Perry on November 24th, 2005 1:44 pm

    I am pretty sure all these quotes are true!

  5. Gordon on November 25th, 2005 4:56 pm

    Great stuff. Happy Thanksgiving/Black Friday.

  6. buckley on November 25th, 2005 9:22 pm

    Thanks everyone. Happy Thanksgiving to you all as well!

  7. spurwing plover on November 28th, 2005 9:55 am

    Micheal Moore the turkey is just showing how stupid he is just get the book DO AS I SAY and you,ll see his real person that of a hypotcrit





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