Subscribe
Non-traditional Global Warming Second Biggest Problem We Face According To NYT Readers Poll
According to a recent New York Times poll, “secondary global warming” has moved up to second 
place on their readers list of the biggest concerns facing the country, overtaking convicted pedophiles who cannot access their E-NAMBLA.com dating accounts while in prison, and closing significant ground on President Bush. Former Vice President Al Gore attributes the rise in concern over non-traditional global warming to his own tireless efforts on behalf of the cause.
“This poll is a vindication of all of the years of hard work I’ve put in since I first discovered primary global warming,” said Gore. “This scourge is decimating our country. Our planet. And it’s not just happening in the usual ‘melting-the-ice-caps-destroying-the-ozone’ way; it’s bigger than that. Now we see the secondary effects can be just as devastating. I get letters from school children all of the time telling me how global warming ate their homework or pushed them down on the playground. I hear from elderly people who tell terrifying stories of how global warming conned them out of their life savings. And then there are the multitude of African-Americans who deal with the racial epithets thrown their way on a daily basis by global warming.”
Gore says that secondary global warming is the biggest threat facing the world today, and that people should not be misled by the fact that it only managed second place on the list. He went on to note some eerie commonalities between the top two NYT readers concerns.
“I am convinced that President Bush and secondary global warming are in fact one in the same individual,” said Gore. “They follow a strangely similar m.o.- both steal from old people; both hate children and African-Americans; and neither one can hold a tune. Furthermore, they have never yet appeared together in public.”
Rounding out the top ten biggest concerns facing America are:
4. Traditional global warming
5. America (the country not the band)
6. Westerns (that do not involve gay cowboys)
7. (tie) Stupid people who do not recognize the quality content on Air America
7. (tie) The extreme conservative slant in the mainstream media
8. SUV’s
9. Country music (except the Dixie Chicks)
10. The Star Spangled Banner
- Al Gore And Richard Branson Tackle Global Warming
- Global Warming Morphs, Hits Northeast US Hard
- Global Warming To Blame For Illegals Fleeing America?
- TNOYF Debuts New Global Warming PSA
- “Footprints In The Sand”- The Al Gore Version
Yep, that sounds like Gore alright. Isn’t he brilliant?
Well done Mr. Williams
You have once again ignored Al Gore’s main point - second-hand global warming causes cancer! If you say otherwise you are nothing more than a dirty, low-down, rotten, mean-spirited AL GORE OMNISCIENCE DENIER! How can you doubt him? Al Gore invented sliced bread; Al Gore invented the guillotine; Al Gore invented FIRE!( And it was not his fault primitive men misused this gift and melted all their glaciers). You’ll get yours in two years when Al Gore is crowned Emperor and fixes all our problems.
Nice picture - looks like he coughed up Tinkerbell - or a radioactive hairball.
What about those who don’t watch Olbermann?
Al Gore sure is spitting out alot of CO2 travelling the world, telling people about global warming, isn’t he? Planes, trains, and automobiles.. even though his “Number one concern” is global warming. But we musn’t doubt Al Gore! After all, he “Invented the internet”.